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Hi to all reading and viewing this ???? i just wanted to share my experience regarding depersonalization and derealization. Im from Philippines and im 16 yrs old. I wanted to share my story and somehow help you guys as well.

It was around the last week of april 2018 when my dp started after my baby cousin left the house and returned to their hometown. She has always been my happy pill the whole summer and when she left , a lot of things changed . It was morning (the day after my cousin left). I woke up feeling dizzy like my head feels like the waves in the ocean. Even if I sit still, I feel like my body is moving left and right. I searched symptoms and the results are vertigo and anxiety. I didnt cared about it because i thought that it will just last for one day. Next morning i still felt the same and still didnt care about it, i just slept early hoping it would go away and things will get better tomorrow. The next day , the feeling didnt went away and it already started bothering me. While i was washing dishes , my body and the things around me seems unreal. I started panicking and immediately washed my face to wake myself. This was the same feeling I had 5 years ago. Yes , i already had a dp when i was in 5th grade. My dp 5 yrs ago lasted for 1 year and i thanked God for that. And now it came back and i suddenly felt weak. Dp doesnt last when you want it to last. I always make myself happy and occupy myself with happy and positive things. It broke my heart when the things that I love and that makes me happy doesn't work in treating my dp. Yes depersonalization is a great hindrance from what you love. I dont even go to malls anymore and i really loved shopping before. Instead of watching kpop vids that made my summer complete , im just on my bed lying down and self diagnosing myself. My depersonalization occurs 24/7 even in bed and even in using my phone. I wanted to get rid of it so badly. It's the worst thing ever. I even slap myself to tell myself that im alive. Im afraid to stand up because my dp worsens and I seriously dont like the feeling. Taking a bath also scares me , eating scares me , everything scares me. Everyday i am experimenting myself what should i do and what should not. There are also times when i dont even recognize my face and voice anymore. I always argue with myself and tell myself " why are you so stupid this is you and everything is real you are just overrreacting". School is fast approaching and im afraid that dp will become a huge barrier to my studies. That's what I thought but it was actually the one that cured me. My adviser is a Christian and he never fails to remind us how God loves us and what is our purpose here on earth. He gave me a verse that totally hit me hard. It was a verse related to depersonalization! ????. I was in total shock because I never told anyone about my disorder because there's a part of me that im embarrassed of it since it's a rare case and people will find me weird and overrreacting things . I messaged him and He said that it was actually from God and he consulted me???? i broke in tears and began to strengthen my faith in the Lord. I am slowly recovering after he gave that to me ????. Remember , we do not own our bodies , it's from God. Surrender your life to Him. Live your life even if you have dp. Do all the things that you love and push yourself to the limit.

Here are the tips :

* Pls dont hurt yourself even if your anxiety is on its highest peak already. Calm yourself by sitting down , close your eyes , and breathe slowly.

* Consider yourself unique because you have dp. People with dp are creative and smart. There are also a lot of famous celebrities and painters that went through disassociative disorders.

* You might want to try painting and express whats on your mind , your emotions , and feelings.

* I took pills and im not sure if it worked 100% but i took omega 3 fish oil

* Hug a lot of people.

* Get yourself a pet.

* Talk to God and share him all your concerns & problems (He's listening i swear ????)

*Look at the sky and imagine that God is watching you and that he is guiding you when your anxiety and dp is triggering you

* Open your bible and read these verses

Psalms 139: 23-24 , Matthew 6:31-33, Philippians 4:6-7, Psalms 46:1

I am always open to help ???? you can message me on twitter @chevssii and let's talk about it ???? Good luck to your recovery !!! Recovering from it is not that easy and the process is slow but you will surely get through it. Dont give up , there's hope ????.
 
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