[person3]

Depersonalization is your best friend.

It would do anything for you. It would move mountains for you. In fact, if you didn't even WANT the mountain there at ALL, it would take that mountain away from reality for you.

When you cannot accept reality, DP loves you enough to take it away from you, so you won't be hurt anymore.

When you cannot accept your feelings, your TRUE feelings, DP will cover them up with false ones first and then make you numb to the false ones. Then you will be so busy wondering why you are numb to false feelings that you don't ever have to feel those things you truly feel.

When you cannot bear the quiet and sit and think for even a moment, DP will come to the rescue by flooding your brain with thoughts or fuzz or ANYTHING to keep you from being "hurt".

Dp will always be there for you when you need it. When you don't want to deal.

Whenever you don't want to face pain in life, DP will help save you from it.

Dp will never let you down. You just have to make that wish and DP will be there to save you. From pain and nothingness and loss and mistakes and resentment, DP will save you from these things. It will create entire WORLDS for you to play in so you don't have to deal with those things.

I guess all those fairy tales where the girl is rescued by the Prince Charming who would do ANYTHING for her backfired on us...

because what kind of girl waits for her prince charming to rescue her?

and what kind of person waits for something to change reality for them?

 

[Brainsilence02]

I have thought of this one too and it seems to me that DP/DR it is actually a facility.

A facility that shouldn't be there in the first place. A facility aimed to help/aid us but doing it with the wrong way. A good intention but a bad implementation? I think not.

Even though the utility remains unique, defuse/neutralization of the conflict, the procedure is, or involves, painful feelings (DP/DR, etc). Why should there be a procedure for this? Why we cannot be aware of everything?

It is not the subconcious that has the problem, but rather fact that subconcious and concious must exist at once. It is actually the advanced concious activity that causes the problems. DP/DR is not eliminating none of them both, it just reconciles their conflicts. DP/DR is but an illusion. Something like consuming (marketing) illusions.

The human brain is not perfect, it appears that we are actually a transitional type. Maybe in 60000 years (it's not that long actually) we will be out of this illness.

Yet I have this fear, maybe we are not heading from bad to good, maybe we are heading from good to bad: like the penguins (they are moving from air to water).

While we cannot make the step and go from instict to pure thinking, it seems that for now, the multi-dimentional structure of the human psyche is the only viable choice (remember, "viable" does not mean the same for all of the psyche's dimentions).

Because DP/DR is a childish response of our desire not to accept or not to understand. I haven't yet found the perfect way out.

The greatest challenge remains to meet ourselves an try to change it the right way.

Subconcious: maybe we should be very careful of what we through in there. Honesty to ourselves can help. When you do something, don't fool yourself, just keep in mind the real reason that you are doing this.

 

[bat]

the sort of dp i experience does not save me from reality it transports me straight to hell

 

[Guest]

person I can see where you are coming from

my response to the suggestion that dp is your best friend, is speak for yourself.I mean this in the nicest way.

If you have found a way to make friends with dp more power to you.

There has been nothing good about having dp for me.Nothing at all.It sucks to the core.

I could tell myself otherwise and come up with a few benefits,my imagination is up to it but my original thoughts have not changed it's nothing but a curse.
That's just the way I feel.

Cheers Shelly

 

[Depersonalized]

Are you serious about all that p3? DP is nothing but hell for me, makes me feel like I don't exist, it smashes all my dreams and hopes. What kind of friend is that?

 

[Scattered]

I think you're all missing the point that this was a sarcastic comment.

 

[Depersonalized]

In fact I dont think p3 has DP or DR, but thats only my opinion

 

[Monkeydust]

I think a lot of people are missing the point here; that's not to say that I agree with the "actual" point myself.

P3, I can see where you're coming from. It just seems a bit too much of a pseudo-theory for my tastes It seems to have a "ring of truth" - it "sounds good" - but for me at least it's not substantiated in reality.

Can we be a little less cryptic as well please? It's clear that some people weren't sure what you were getting at because it was so equivocal.

 

[Scattered]

The point is that some people are not willing to do what they have to do to get better because they use depersonlization as a coping mechanism. In order to get better these people have to face reality and stop using DP as a means to escape the underlying problems that are contributing to their condition.

 

[person3]

guys, of COURSE it was utterly sarcastic.

You think anyone wants dp?

I have not made peace with dp.

however, you have to make peace with things in reality.

i very much had chronic dp/dr.

cloverstone, it still may take you a while. i'll PM you with something.

it is taking me a while.

it TOOK me a while.

every truth i uncover does not bring instantaneous recovery, or even soon recovery.

the whole thing takes a long time to untangle.

i know, that if I was able to accept EVERY BIT of reality, not just accept some of it or most of it, if I was able to let go of ALL control, not just some of it or most of it, if I was able to TRULY FOCUS ON OTHER THINGS AND NOT MYSELF all of the time, not just some or most of the time, I would recover.

I'm well on my way, I think.

But when you say you've accepted these things or this does not apply to you, are you totally sure, or is that just out of frustration? Because I say a lot of things too.

And it may not be scientific. Hate this post if you want or say it's not the whole truth or whatever.

But I know that it is based on my experience and what has helped me thus far.

Take that as you will.

 

[person3]

and, one more thing, let me stress.

we spend time thinking VERY negatively, CERTAIN that this is forever and CERTAIN that we hate this and it sucks.

Some of that absolute and negative certainty is the problem, and maybe you should see if that applies in other areas of your life.

"I will NEVER be a great actress. So I just won't even TRY. And i will tell everybody that I tried EVERYTHING. I know this is the end of my acting career. (well if you know it's the end and you will never be an actor then why are you still talking about it? somewhere inside of you has hope that this isn't the end and has hope that your big break will come)"

see the analogy?

it's not just about accepting reality, but that a) you have a certain type of negative attitude towards this where you simultaneously say "oh there is nothing! i've tried everything" yet still keep a secret hope deep inside and let it keep you from going about your daily work, and b) you shoot down the suggestion that maybe there are some things you HAVENT examined or accepted and you refuse to admit your pleasure and comfort in leaving those things off in the corner. hey, i do it too. as i said, i'm not all the way there. there are some things that i'm still "addicted" to and i haven't let go of control. i like control sometimes.

if you have absolutely accepted the conditions you're in, they would not be debilitating and they would not stop you from doing anything and they would NOT BRING YOU MAJOR DISCOMFORT.

 

[CECIL]

i.e You developed DP in order to try to cope with a reality that you wanted to reject (too painful), so its like your mind's defence mechanism but, obviously, is now doing more harm than good.

 

[person3]

yes, basically

but don't theorize it too much

there is no "well it was useful and good for a while and then it got out of control" in my opinion

i think it's more like...it was NEVER useful. we used it to escape from reality for a bit. therefore it wasn't useful. the only "useful" dp/dr is in a situation that we fail to notice it because we're coping with something THAT traumatic...if we're watching ourselves enough to notice dp come on (and we are, and we do), then we're not really using the body's "natural" coping mechanism. we're tricking our mind into thinking we are, and into thinking we can access it when we want to...we are basically tricking ourselves. this is not the same as the coping mechanism. because the coping mechanism works when it knows it is needed. this is more of a rage against reality. "i can't believe this world, what if i was DEAD! i'm going to make myself DEAD!" etc.

kind of like forcing yourself to feel in love and then being truly convinced you feel it, is nothing like actual love

i don't know if the above made sense, i just thought it up

 

[Guest]

As the wonderful dearly departed Dr Claire Weekes said you don't have to like something to accept it.

 

[ret]

Oh

 

[g-funk]

It is SO true, I used to think that 'accepting' the shape of my body (and can be applied to so much more) meant loving/liking the shape of my body.
Acceptance happens when you focus away and it becomes no longer important, in comparison to all the other things that are happening in your world.
Very few people 'love' themselves, those who appear content in life to aren't walking around saying 'i love the way i look' etc, it just IS to them, they just ARE, it means nothing more just another aspect of getting from A to B. It's about the undue emphasis we put on these kinds of things.

kind of went off an a tangent there

 

[g-funk]

'acceptance' is much more passive, you can't tackle things like body issues directly or aggressively, because that is giving them more attention than they deserve.

for instance, an alcoholic goes through the 'should I / shouldn't I have that drink ' every night. The battle cannot be won by arguing with yourself. You want that drink, you know you shouldn't, so you try desperately to win the battle of the wills, trying to convince yourself that you actually think 'i don't want this'.

if you were to go away and develop an evening hobby, eventually, it wouldn't enter your mind to have that drink. you'd still like one, but you were so busy 'elsewhere' that it means much less to you now. by accepting defeat gracefully, you needn't wage war with yourself and you can move on to better things.
you cannot 'make peace' your fat bum or with wanting a drink, in the way you think you can

ok, really gone off the topic now

 

[Depersonalized]

In fact I dont think p3 has DP or DR, but thats only my opinion

There is no doubt that P3 has DP/DR...she has been around here for a long time and suffers with the rest of us. We all simply are unique in our dealings and views with this mess.

Want to say more about some of the comments Melissa but on my way to bed. Until tomorrow... 8)

I think she is a poser.