[Matthew_Francis]

Hi, I'm Matthew and I'm a writer and Professor of Creative Writing in Wales. In my 20s I suffered from episodes of depersonalization and panic attacks. I was a student at the time, and went to my university health centre, where I was lucky to find a really good psychotherapy service headed by Dr Anthony Ryle, the inventor of Cognitive Analytic Therapy. I got a diagnosis immediately, which is rare now and was even rarer in the 80s. From what I've read about DPD since, I am sure I would have developed it if I had not received treatment immediately. As it was, I had individual and group therapy and was asked to keep a journal of my attacks, which became rarer over the next year or so, then stopped for good.

It was the turning point of my life - I got over the block which had prevented me forming relationships with women and started to find my direction as a writer. Recently, though, I've become interested in exploring what happened to me then and learning more about it. The result is a book, Depersonalization and Creative Writing, which is just about to come out. It's part memoir, part psychology, part literary criticism, and considers the role depersonalization may play in the lives of writers and its possible connection with creativity.

Here's a link to it. Unfortunately it's an academic book, which means it is ridiculously expensive, and I don't really expect anyone to buy it. But I'm happy to answer questions about it, and you may be able to get it through a library. In any case I've learned a lot from writing it, and there may be things we can talk about as a result.

 

[coolwhip27]

Cool. So, this post serves more of a purpose than as an advertisement right? I would hope so, but then again- it looks like your primary motive of coming here is to share about your book, which is fine, I guess. But first, prove to me that you are willing to answer a question. To what degree of depth does your book go into depersonalization itself, and not just your personal story? What is it more of?

 

[Matthew_Francis]

Yes, I was concerned that it looks like spam - but as I said, I don't think many people are likely to buy the book at that price anyway, and I do want to start a discussion about the relationship between DP and writing, because I really believe there is one. My own story is told in the first chapter. The second chapter is about DP itself - if you've looked into the history and science of the subject I doubt if you'll find anything new here, as it's only a summary of existing knowledge, above all as described in the books by Simeon and Abugel, and Sierra. After that I get on to my real subject, exploring its relationship to literature. I look at what seem to me to be descriptions of DP in fiction and poetry, starting with a remarkably vivid account at the beginning of Patrick Hamilton's novel Hangover Square, and going on to consider examples in the the work of, eg, Emily Dickinson and T.S. Eliot. Another chapter looks at why literary theory seems obsessed with taking the personal element out of writing. Finally I go on to what I've learned from DP about how to write, arguing that the old creative writing maxim "show, don't tell" is really all about creating a sort of artistic equivalent of DP on the page. If all this sounds irrelevant to most people, my conclusion maybe isn't - I point out the connection between DP and youth (for most people, as I'm sure you know, it starts in adolescence and early adulthood), and go on to suggest that it's a necessary transitional phase of life that has gone wrong. We all need to separate from the the values of our old lives in order to reconnect with the community at another level, and when this goes wrong as it did for me you get stuck in in an emotional limbo. And literature allows writers to create transitional (liminal) worlds in a safe space so that we don't have to go there in real life, which is why is so often seems depersonalized.

Sorry if all this sounds too academic. I do recommend Hangover Square, though - a great novel! (Hamilton didn't realize what he was describing was DP, but there's no doubt he must have experienced it.)

 

[coolwhip27]

Yes, I was concerned that it looks like spam - but as I said, I don't think many people are likely to buy the book at that price anyway, and I do want to start a discussion about the relationship between DP and writing, because I really believe there is one. My own story is told in the first chapter. The second chapter is about DP itself - if you've looked into the history and science of the subject I doubt if you'll find anything new here, as it's only a summary of existing knowledge, above all as described in the books by Simeon and Abugel, and Sierra. After that I get on to my real subject, exploring its relationship to literature. I look at what seem to me to be descriptions of DP in fiction and poetry, starting with a remarkably vivid account at the beginning of Patrick Hamilton's novel Hangover Square, and going on to consider examples in the the work of, eg, Emily Dickinson and T.S. Eliot. Another chapter looks at why literary theory seems obsessed with taking the personal element out of writing. Finally I go on to what I've learned from DP about how to write, arguing that the old creative writing maxim "show, don't tell" is really all about creating a sort of artistic equivalent of DP on the page. If all this sounds irrelevant to most people, my conclusion maybe isn't - I point out the connection between DP and youth (for most people, as I'm sure you know, it starts in adolescence and early adulthood), and go on to suggest that it's a necessary transitional phase of life that has gone wrong. We all need to separate from the the values of our old lives in order to reconnect with the community at another level, and when this goes wrong as it did for me you get stuck in in an emotional limbo. And literature allows writers to create transitional (liminal) worlds in a safe space so that we don't have to go there in real life, which is why is so often seems depersonalized.

Sorry if all this sounds too academic. I do recommend Hangover Square, though - a great novel! (Hamilton didn't realize what he was describing was DP, but there's no doubt he must have experienced it.)

Hm. Sounds like you have some ideas. The best thing I heard here was you mention DP as a growth conflict. As far as tying writing and literature into depersonalization, I’m a little confused. The mind of a writer will use their ideas as a method of escape from real life?

 

[Matthew_Francis]

Yes,, in a way. Literature, being a depersonalized world, provides us with an alternative to going through depersonalization itself. Which I see as a bad form of the transition we all have to go through when changing state - a bad form that's arisen because our society is not good at handling those transitions any more. I haven't come across the term "growth conflict" before. but I like it.

 

[Barbituratik]

Derealization makes it simpler for me to connect with the tiny movie screen in my head since there is a sort of "glass wall" separating me from reality. Additionally, it's simpler to distance yourself from what is now conceivable or actual and what isn't, which... greatly aids writing, especially fantasy or fiction. However, I feel like my brain... shuts down when I experience depersonalization. The fact that it inspires song ideas is really intriguing, though! It may seem repetitive in this essay writing service reddit, but seeing other people's experiences is fantastic!