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Dear Janine

I have been DP?d for 3 months now (as you know the trauma, ill health and death of my cat caused this DP to trigger off). I am coming out of it, I feel quite normal, but still don?t feel completely 100% connected to my sense of self. Thus I still have a mild identity confusion about me, I am definitely better than what I was this time last week. I keep getting triggers connecting me a bit more, but I seem to be waiting forever for that final trigger that clicks me back into ?normal? mode and feeling like myself again. Is this normal, is this how it works? I feel so frustrated because I feel so near the end of the DP going, but it still seems to linger on. I am a little frightened in case I don?t get the final trigger that clicks me back to how I was back in April this year.

Does this make sense, do you think I am on the journey out of DP, does it sound like it?


Dear One,
YOu are in the middle of Obsessive Hysteria, need to STOP the search for an immediate solution and get back on the track you were on when things were going well.

(also, read my reply to you under "Frustrated")

There is a very strong OCD (obsessive compulsive) component to us much of the time - I know it's there, not sure why doctors don't mention it more often (or maybe they dont' realize the extent and desperation level of our seeking reassurances). We THINK if we can get someone to say "yes, this is a good sign" then SOMEhow that will feel like we can relax for a second. But it's dangerous. ANYtime we are that desperate to get a certain response, it's OCD-like, and suddenly the ten times of washing the hands becomes 100, becomes 1000 and then one day one cannot leave the house because they are only washing their hands from morning till night.

We MUST learn to "let go" of knowing or of having to know. We have to learn that there IS NO answer or reassurance that will ever be enough, and each one in fact, sinks us deeper and deeper into obsessiveness and the dependency on the inner monitoring.

Make sense?

Log off the computer, go out and do something. ANYthing. But you need to stop the "loop" your thinking has gotten into -

Take care,
and know that I have been there and I am speaking from TOTAL personal experience!!
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