[Guest]

OK Janine (and others),

I would really be grateful for some advice on how to deal with a peculiar symptom(s) some of us might relate to: paranoid delusions. I know other people on this board have bizarre/irrational/delusional thoughts and beliefs, and was wondering if you could shed some light on a pro-active way to deal with them. I'm guessing mine are a little extreme.

For the last couple months I?ve been overwhelmed with bizarre thoughts (about the nature of reality, life, etc.) which have culminated in a paranoid delusion that the entire world is nothing but a figment of my imagination, and has always been. This scares the absolute living hell out of me, but I still believe it, and live my life as if it were true. How?s that for messed up?

I wish I could shake it, but I can?t. It has consumed me, filling my mind 99.9% of the time. When I tell myself the idea is nothing more than a delusion based on other fears, I cannot fathom the delusion not being true. I would like nothing more than to realize/rationalize that it is a symbol for something else, but I can?t. It seems so justified, so true and profound, especially given the fact I?ve had similar thoughts since childhood. With DP/DR terrifying old thoughts have creeped back in, and have now become horrible delusions which have turned my mind 180.

Anyways, I have tried so hard to focus outwards and ignore them, but it is difficult focusing outward when you think that everything ?out there? has been made up by you. The last thing you want to do is gaze outwards. When I push these thoughts back, it seems all I?m doing is buying more time until they resurface, which is every few minutes at best. So, with that said, is it still best to focus outwards, even in a case like mine? It seems like a tragic paradox; the harder you try to divert your attention to more normal things, the more you are reminded of a delusion you are trying to forget. (i.e., when I talk with other people, I cannot stop thinking that they are just a figment of my imagination, etc.)

Sorry for the rambling, but I know you have been through similar situations, and you really are an inspiration. If you have any thoughts on a practical (did I just say that?) approach, I would really appreciate it. I will do whatever it takes, even if you tell me to start stripping... :wink:

Many Thanks,

Jon

 

[Guest]

Patient: "Doctor, my arm hurts so bad when I raise it up..."

Doctor: "Then don't raise it."

All Truth is ultimately found in the old Groucho Marks' movies.

There is honestly no practical advice I have except that. The ONLY way to stop those thoughts is to resist the thoughts.

The Lie is that if you thought your way INTO it, that you can likewise think your way OUT of it.

All you will do by continuing to entertain the delusion is feed the delusion.

And even as I type this, I know how impossible it all sounds. I can recall it vividly - I would sit in my living room, in a soft chair by a lamp, and watch TV, chat with family, etc...and all the while I was glancing out the window, CONVINCED that if I "thought" an image at exactly the right moment in exactly the right Universe Spin Connection, etc...that I could "create" that image outside the window.

I didn't WANT to do that...I was petrified that it was finally going to be the Revealing piece of information that PROVED to me, once and for all, that I was the only being in existence...that I would finally have to face that there was NO one and NOTHING except my own thoughts....and this, this Universe, was nothing but an entire Dream...a lie, an illusion, a game of my own mind....and once I "saw" the thing I conjured up, once the world outside the window became DIFFERENT at nothing more than my whim of thought, I'd have to face it...and my ultimate hell would truly begin.

"No, I'm not really hungry, yet...maybe I'll eat dinner later.." and my family talked about some TV show and I laughed and we chatted...and I kept looking at the window....knowing my existence and my sanity would be completely shattered in a matter of seconds.

I lived that way for years.

Years.

Do you perhaps not hear me? YEARS.

Do whatever you can to FORCE yourself not to entertain those thoughts. I ended up with nothing to believe except 1) that I was correct and had invented the world; or 2) I was utterly insane.

Not good choices.

There is NO way to think your way out of this. That's what delusions DO - they reel you in, and they make you believe you MUST keep thinking about them or you'll go mad. The reality is that THINKING about them nearly drives you mad.

Do anything, except think about this stuff.

Trust one who has been there.

J

 

[Guest]

Thanks for the advice. Although I can't imagine how to "not think" I will try my hardest. Easier said than done, but I will give it my best shot...

Thanks again,

Jon

 

[falling_free]

Yeh I think janines advice is good, I am still a bit of delusional crackpot but my pot is starting to get glued together a bit better now, Im picking up the pieces, just don't entertain delusional thoughts and they start to fade into the background a lot more.

 

[Guest]

Ok, I've got some wierd delusional crap goin on at the mo....Like I'm back at school etc when im tryin to do a uni degree....i keep gettin flickers of the past, seein people who aren't there...I know its not real...It's scary but even though I know we have to resist and fight it....do anti-ps help????? I've never been on one so not sure what to expect

 

[stickdude]

yes, it's just OCD thinking getting to the best of you. it's painful but you won't go crazy.

 

[Axel19]

My problem is that I can't just forget these thoughts about me being the only thing that exists etc, I feel I can somehow think my way out, and sometimes I do. Sometimes I do for a few days, a week, a month. After days of exhaustive ruminating, I'll suddenly realize how irrational and false they are. But I still return to them, just to make sure, and predictably I'll just get reeled back in. From my experience I have to first realize they're essentially fallacy, then never think about them ever again. It seems so so so wrong to just not think about them when they seem so true, when they're doing so much damage to me. I guess I may as well try and think my way out when I'm in the throws of the delusion itself, since there's nothing better to do. It's when I finally realize the fallacy of these ideas, that I make the mistake of verrifying again and again, tempting fait, till fate kicks me in the goolies.