[James2368]

I just wanted to share something on the forum. I have started a new therapy and had my 13 th session on Wednesday.

Although the guy is not a speciliast on DP / DR I have found out two new things regarding the cause of my symptons,

1) As I child I often had the feeling that I was left alone, helpless, defenseless which has led to a lot of traumatic experiences

=> This has resulted in a constant monitoring of my outer world to potential threats, may it be walking down the street, situations at work, during socialising etc.

As I have not learned as child to cope with these situations, my only way to cope as an adult is by escaping into a DP/DR state

2) I never had parents which ensured me in my feelings and accepted me the way I am. They never gave me the feeling that despite what I did I am o.k. and they would

still love me when I have done something "bad" or "wrong"

=> This has resulted into a very fragile emotional state as an adult. Same as above in cases where I feel threatened or not liked by people I shatter in pieces which causes

again DP/DR

It is the first time in years that DP/DR makes a clearer sense to me instead of only looking at my symptons which are more or less described by other sufferes. The guy has given my DP/DR a "face" and some hope that by working on these issues I will have the chance to finally recover completely.

The theory of believing in my emotions, resulting into a clearer person which is able to deal with the real world again, leads to total recovery seems logical to me.

Furthermore I feel understood in these sessions which leads to a decrease in my symptons, due this fact I come back to life again and feel more present in the real world.

The fact that I am focussing more or less 60 % on myself and all my Attention is directed inwards and not on the outer world causes my cut off Feelings and spaced out feeling makes perfectly sense.

Before I had DP I never focussed on how I would see things, I focussed on the content of what I see. Doing Attention Training to Redirect my Attention maybe quite helpful.

 

[James2368]

I definitely relate to all of this. Can you say more about how you're working to heal from this in therapy?

Same. I haven't started therapy yet, but I've been seeing an energy worker, and I feel like she truly understands me, so I always feel calmer and a little less DP'd during those sessions. Hanging out with a childhood friend helps a lot too - someone who remembers who you used to be before DP and has loved you through all this. I've finally been starting to cut people out of my life who don't "get" me, because I can see that I'm wayy more dissociated around them and they remind me of my parents.

The guy gives me a lot of security in the sessions and I feel truely connected. To give you an example, I went together with my wife away for the weekend. We spend time in the City and due to the fact that it was really packed with People, I got a really bad Panic attack. Everything went completely unreal and I just wanted to get out. I have the possibly to text him and received a short Reply which really touched and gave me enough confidence to deal with the Situation. This made me feel so much better. Also same as you, I am getting rid of all balast and negative energy, like People who are getting me done. I am also working on the Connection to my "inner child". The theory is that due to the emtional neglect suffererd as a child you cut this connection off, leaving one empty, depressed, lonely, scared and unreal. I am looking at situations which I have suffered in as a child, reliving them emotionally and seeing what thinking and believing patterns they are causing today, i.e. as my father never really accepted me as I was a child and neglected, I always think I have to be perfect at work and do more then other People. In the end of the day I am totally stressed out and my DP goes though the Roof. Therefore I am taking more care of myself and treating myself better. My father was an alcoholic, when I was in school I always felt strange and ashamed. I never took any friends home from School due to this fact. I always envied other families who seemed to have a good Family life. I think this also one root cause for my DP because with DP I can emotionally feel the same as a child. I can make myself emtionally invisible....