[falling_free]

I feel like a void

I have no words

I have no coucniousness

I feel like im stuck in a state of perpurtual abstraction, and frectal madness.

I am embrolied in chaos, and am creating new patterns every second to further delude my self (it is now a subcouncious process entirly out of control , trying to escape my skin )

I dont reconize myself as having a voice

I dont expereince time at all, a day seems like a million gazillion years (and probably is)

my mind is non exsistenet

I am probably already dead

I cant communicate, and dont know how to communicate and dont know how to respond to words

I cant express myself in any real fashion

my mind is working liek a computer, trying to locate a problem or 'virus' where there is no porblem or 'virus' :roll:

my mind wants to let go but my physcial shell wont

my mind is fragmented beyond repair, there is no individual self awareness

my brain doesnt even fuction as all, I am a zombie

I anaylze myself into oblvion

I have had enough, I want to wake from the big slumbering sleep

IMPLODE

0

END IT
Fuck it (Repeat a million times looping)
ETC ETC

 

[Kelson12]

I don't have much to say...but I feel the same way. I feel like a zombie right now as well. Just hold on, even if it is by one little string. If that's all you can do, then try your hardest to do it.

Just don't let go. You will come out of this soon. Just realize that. Just work your hardest to keep going and keep holding on!

Kelson

 

[furtherwest]

"Give away the stone. Let the oceans take and
Transmutate this cold and fated anchor.
Give away the stone. Let the waters kiss and
Transmutate these leaden grudges into gold.
Let go."

your boy maynard said it best. you have to let go of cerebral loop youre in.
there is no end to self-analysis. its a snake devouring itself.

i know you cant stop the loop right now. when i was writing things like your post, i couldnt either. for now know that it is possible.

do you feel like this all the time or does it come and go?

 

[Scattered]

We are eternal all this pain is an illusion.

 

[ret]

[pending]

 

[falling_free]

"Give away the stone. Let the oceans take and
Transmutate this cold and fated anchor.
Give away the stone. Let the waters kiss and
Transmutate these leaden grudges into gold.
Let go."

your boy maynard said it best. you have to let go of cerebral loop youre in.
there is no end to self-analysis. its a snake devouring itself.

i know you cant stop the loop right now. when i was writing things like your post, i couldnt either. for now know that it is possible.

do you feel like this all the time or does it come and go?

I am consciously trtryint to let go of the cerebal loop for sure, im tryint to stop the anyalsis that is going deeper and deeper until I have no idea who or what I am , but there seems to some thing holding me back, something stopping me from letting go all my neroeues all my bad negative crap, and all my negativity is just weeling up and increasing , being thrown in my face and is turning me into a shadow of my former self.

Yeh I should hope there is a end to this constanat self anyalsis, because it is like you descirbied, being stuck in the state of the snake swolling its own tail, leading on and on and not getting anyway, though I am making a concerted effort to put these extrmee moodes of self nyalsis and I often draw out the often stragne mental landsacpes I find myself in (like a void but filled with shapes and intereactions of patterns and symbols etc etc) just really totry to get a better idea of where my heads at.

well i am not complety mentally detached and distant all the time, but often during th day, often at university , even when I go outside, its like I cannot focus on anything apart from my own mind, like the focus is turned so inward that outwardly I cannot focus or intereact with the outside world as much.