What a day.
Last night, as usual, I woke up in the middle of the night with my heart and mind racing. For two hours I tried to fall back asleep, but by 3am the tossing and turning was getting old. I took an Ativan and finally fell asleep. I need to find another way to get to sleep other than taking a pill! Before I fell asleep I thought that today was going to be a terrible day because of my lack of sleep. Boy was I wrong!
I woke up this morning and was raring to go! I want to tackle this Derealization more than anything. I decided to face my biggest fear: THE MALL. Recently I've been going to the mall with my fiance and have been really struggling with walking around. Today, I went in with the mentality that yes, I suffer from Derealization, but who cares? I did my very best to forget about the surreal feeling and to just enjoy my shop. Not only did I make it through the entire mall, but I spoke with a few people working in different stores AND even bought a nice new pair of boots! The feeling of Derealization was stronger than ever the entire time I was there, but now that I know what I'm dealing with, I can slightly put it aside and get on with my everyday life. Tackling the mall was a HUGE obstacle, and I'm very proud. Just one step closer to going back to work on Monday.
I'm not going to let this control my life anymore!!! Feelin' good.