Well, I never thought I'd start a blog, most especially about an illness! But today is the day that I not only fully realized what I've been suffering from for 5 years, but the day that I truly believed I could get better.
I've been off work now for three weeks and I'm very worried about going back. I've suffered from DR for 5 years now, but in the last month it's been very much intensified. I am a teacher and I am terrified that something will happen when I have a class full of kids sitting in front of me. I've been having a hard time leaving the house, even with my fiance by my side. Over the last few weeks I've made an effort to get out of the house every day and go somewhere just to be in public when I feel this way, in hopes that I will get over it. But when I'm out, the surreal feeling is all I can think about.
Last night I did an internet search for these symptoms that I've been feeling, and I came across the term, Derealization. Relief washed over me. I have figured it out. Nobody else could figure it out, but I did. Other people have this too! I'm not the only one. And people CAN get over it! It's a real thing. I'm not going crazy. RELIEF.
I researched it more this morning and joined this online community. I am so happy to have found it. Then today, I went on my daily outing (which today was Tim Hortons), and I felt ok! I mean, the DR was still very strong and I was very aware of it, but I wasn't panicking, I was ok. I finally feel that I can go back to work! Don't get me wrong, I am very worried and I'm sure it will be tough, but at least I know what's happening. It's Wednesday and I think I will start back to work next Monday. This is the very first time I've felt so positive about my condition.
I am ready to work on it, and get better. HERE WE GO!!!