[murderroutine]

So, as much as I want to "my" derealization to go away, I don't at the same time because I almost feel like I was given something "special" .. you could say. A gift almost. That I'm supposed to learn how to use.
Since I've had it i've become, kind of, hypersensative? mentally? It's also frustrating at the same time though because I see things that other people don't. Not visually. lol.
I'm not good at explaining myself..obviously.

Does anybody else ever feel like they were given something "special" or am I just sick? most likely.

 

[subtlerobot]

actually, i have felt that way too. on some days when i'm feeling less dp'd, i almost get sad at the thought that i might lose it, because i've been thinking very philosophically, and in a twisted way i enjoy it. sometimes i think that i was meant to have it, but then again, i could just be delusional.

for me, dp has brought about great changes in the things i think about, and now i don't really care for the normal teenage crap that everyone around me seems to be so caught up with. i wonder what i'll be like when/if it goes away...

 

[Monkeydust]

I never thought it made me in any way "special", nor did I think it was some "gift" to be used. I always wanted to get rid of it and live the "normal" life.

But, in a way, I know what you mean. Having gone through it and come out the other end, I do feel in a way "special", because I've gone through an experience that most people will be unable to comprehend or relate to. It's a level of perception that I wouldn't want to stay in, but that was useful to appreciating the "normal" life as it should be.

 

[murderroutine]

yeah, I don't really feel too special and it wouldn't be the best gift ever. I'm just lacking in the description words area. lol. excuse me for that

 

[fingertingle]

I feel like I've been given greater insight into what really matters in life... dp kind of destructs meaning, but I at least feel that I understand, in living in this dream world, that happiness is the most important thing - so I'll never confuse things like financial success with actual success in life. It kind of reminds me of that one quote in Waking Life..something along the lines of combining the rational thought of your waking life with the infinite possibilities of your dreams. Still, I feel like I've lost a bit of rationality to this disease. I think dp would be more acceptable if this community were the world, it's really upsetting because it clashes with this world and the things people do in this world don't coincide with who we (or at least) I (am). "Who I am" is kind of a difficult statement to mak--------I'm rambling. But yeah, sometimes I see it as a gift.

 

[Guest]

I can relate to the idea of it being given a kind of gift. I saw it this way because with experiencing this dream like state, I think I was better able at one time to invent myself as someone I always wanted to be. I had this idea of someone not needing other people, cool, calm all the time in crisis and not so sensitive as I was before. In essence I became that and lived in my own world which wasn't grounded and in which I couldn't feel, detect any real emotion. But everyone else was delighted to know someone like me. No hassle to be around.
Now the flip side of this state of detachment emerges as I realise that I don't enjoy or dislike the experience of anything since it all seems the same.
I heard that in german the word for gift means the same as poison. Does anyone know if this is true?