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***************************************TRIGGER WARNING****************************************************

So I was watching videos online and I came across one that kind of sparked anxiety. The lady explains what happens to me down to the T. Which is scary because it means I have a psychotic problem (not major though) ...

Go to www.youtube.com and type in "Schizoaffective Hallucinations" and its the top video to come up that says by "supercrazylady21". It is only 4:13 in length... Watch the video and pay attention to her visual hallucinations! That happens to me occasionally and its creepy.

1) colors become more vibrant

2) things start to glow kind of

3) see sparkles or visual snow

4) things moving or patterns appearing different

5)people looking different kind of distorted and what not like its not them

6) things look cartoonish or animated

The only thing I will add is that rarely the room will start spinning too for a second or so and I will literally lose my sense of surroundings it feels like.

I do not hear voices though. I am always lethargic too and squint eyed because my brain is sooo out of wack lol... I really wonder if this is the onset of something and if it only gets worst? :(
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Sorry bro, I added a *trigger warning* now.... There is another video that I suggest which is quite opposite haha "There is no such thing as mental illness" by "Stefan Molyneux"
 

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Hahaha,

Video didn't affect me that much I don't think.

Just when she says 'everyone looks like they're made out of really detailed play-do' lol. I'll get over it in a while.

Notice how you've stopped obsessing about your thoughts and now your obsessing about what you see?
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Yeah, next I will obsess about what I hear (wait, I already do that haha) Bottom line is, something is off, and at times wayyyy off. I almost go into the hospital every night but I don't because they cant do anything... maybe give me meds that mess me up and make me worst. that's about it hahaha. I just hold onto the positives which are 1) I have a staff position at an apartment complex 2) I am passing my college classes 3) I pay my bills, my own food, my own clothes etc 4) I take care of 2 cats and 1 fish 5) I have my own place.

No doubt though that its very very hard, especially school. I am soooo out of it literally that students have thought I looked completely stoned to the max. Which I feel that way everyday. I literally sit in class squint eyed and shaky with anxiety staring off into space. Soooo, Its hard as shit to just be in school and work but I do it.

So I may be crazy and have undiagnosed mental illness but I am so far a successful crazy... For how much longer? I don't know cuz I am steadily getting worst although I have improvements
 

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Bottom line is, something is off, and at times wayyyy off.
I think it's called being dissociated and FEELING like you're going crazy.

You could self diagnose for the rest of your life, hell, I've got all the symptoms for MS according to some random website.

Bottom line, if you're team of medical professionals are telling you that you are not becoming psychotic, then you aren't. Health anxiety brought on by DP is crippling.
 
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