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I have started thinking that what if i just failed to save me.
What if think shouldnot be like this. Because i know im not the same and im much worse. I cant say what life is here. But when i try hard i can remember. I can remember it and it hurts. It hurts so badly that i tears just comes. Now im nothing. I dont undertsand how this all just happened and why. I get no sense of my life or myself. In this point im not even willing to change anything. Maybe im too depressed. But right now i just know. I will never see myself the same way or world. I know if i gonna ever have something better its very very litttle and so weak. It feel like infinity have passed. Do you ever think this...
What if this is a process of dead? This feels very near of dead.
Sometimes i get this feeling that something better is somewhere but i never manage stay there or get there. I just get helpless. I wanna sense of something.i feel im repeating myself. And never going forward.
 

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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
Its just maybe wrong think this way. Shouldnot think past.. Or anyway...
We have to just live this even when we dont want
I keep reminding myself and moments i have relief.. But it never last longer than moment.
 

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I feel your pain. I was at a very dark place some time ago too. The depression that ensued was enough to off myself. Although I never planned anything I had constant thoughts of it but with time, those dark thoughts lessened and I felt, how should I say, better.

But those truly lonely days will come and go, they are very natural and I find that in those low moments, we find some sort of absolution.

We dig out what makes us human. Whatever pain or remorse, guilt or lament, we accumulated them over a lifetime and when not expressed or talked about, they branch out, taking roots in our daily lives. Our behavior and even thoughts are reflections of what we feel inside.

Like I said before, it has gotten better for me. And it will for you too but you must continue to live and most importantly learn to just let go once in a while, forget that you have it just move in the moment. Your "moments" of relief can be extended to hours and eventually into days.
 
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