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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I know this should probably be in the poll section but honestly I don't know how to do it. Even in the state of hell that I am in now where the DP/DR is concerned, I am such an overwhelming control freak. The bad part about it is half the time I don't even realize that I am doing it until it is too late, and I have offended somebody. Do you guys think that this could be part of this disorder in some way. I often think to myself you are such a take charge bossy b*$#ch at times (not trying to sound like I am proud of it), why can't you take charge of this and make it go away. Just wanted some input.
Kate :?
 

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hmmm I'm opposite. I would love to be more like you, instead I'm more please someone else take control, don't put anything else on my shoulders. You can boss me around all you wish, but don't put me in charge, I might let you down....

Interesting to see how different personalities can be affected by this disorder. :wink:

(and I do think you should be a little proud of being in control, you have the power to tone it down so that it becomes a more positive quality for you.)
 

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Whereami I don't know how to use the poll section either. I had a few polls I wanted to post but don't know how.
I don't think that being a control freak has anything to do with dp/dr.
Dp/dr has made me an even more carefree type person. I can useally come to turms with hellish conditions and just tell myself who cares.
I spend to much time tinking about thing to be controling of anything.

Personaly I hate controling people and I don't like bitches at all. Probably because my mom has borderline pesonality disorder. Her BPD has made me afraid of ever getting married because of fear that all women are like her.

If you have a take charge attitude, put it to your advantage and become a manager or something. If you spend a lot of time telling others what to do you won't have much time to try and control dp/dr.
You are probably the type of person that has to keep active, or you will go nuts.
 
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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Wow, LOSTONE that wasn't very nice but oh well to each their own. Look at that, I guess I am getting better @ this control thing all the time. Before I would really give a crap that you don't like controlling people and try to change your opinion of myself even though I don't know you and you don't know me but now I can really say WHATEVER. Actually feels pretty good. I think I will say it again, WHATEVER.
Kate
 

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I definitely have some control issues I'd like to work out. These seem to be tied in with my personal and social conduct and relationships. I guess one aspect of it is trying to control the uncontrollable (I've mentioned this before I'm sure) like external events which are out of your control. Another thing is trying to control the DP/DR itself which only makes it worse. In my opinion it is best to let go of your control issues or they might get out of hand (like they did with me). I remember being on the train once and I think I looked at this guy funny cause he gave me a funny look like I was either staring at him or disapproving of him. That was to say the least one of the most uncomfortable things I had to endure since DP/DR entered my maddened world. Basically it's all about trying to stop others from doing what they're doing when you see they're doing something outside of the "safety zone" that you've established for yourself. Since DP/DR is partially a self-defence mechanism (there was a post I read regarding this earlier), a big part of it is designed to keep you safe and out of harm's way. So safety and control are related in my opinion, and the less controlling you become the more strengths you have to actually do something about the situation that you're in. Control is a big aspect of DP/DR (at least for me) and I've often found myself in the midst of an almost OCD like control freak zone. Where I'd be sped up and always resisting what was happening to me and what went on in the outside world. Like I said, almost and OCD like feeling... it's pretty unbelievable when it happens. It's like you're a little mouse in a mad mad maze, tring to desperatle find the piece of cheese (safety) and you just go round and round till you get tired (which is nowhere soon) as anxiety can be quite a bitch to put down. Control and safety are big issues, and I think so is approval for DP/DR. I personally have felt lack of approval both for myself and others while with the illness.
 

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Whereami you make me smile. You sound pretty healthy to me :) .
You gave me just the response I wanted. WHATEVER. I love that word.

Everyone is diffrent for a reason. Some people were made to command and others to follow. I personaly don't like bitchy people because my mom has drove me insain over the years with her bitching. She has helped turn me into a nervous wreck. I can only handle being around very mellow and peaceful people.

Whereami you have a gift to lead people and are probably good at it I bet.
The trick is to be good at bossing people around and still being nice about it.

It seems to me that you feel hurt when you offend people, that is a good sign, it shows you are a compassionate person that cares about other peoples feelings.
If you are a controling person don't worry this is a good thing. Just don't lose your compassion or your WHATEVER attitude.

Whereami From what I gather you are NOT a bitch.
 
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