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Hi so a year ago I got so upset about something, was literally distraught, couldn’t sleep at all I was so heartbroken and really worked myself up.. the next day I started to feel really weird, as If something had happened to my mind- like it split in some way. I just felt different and it was really scary. From then on started the absolute terror, I was really in a dark place for some months. Felt like I was losing my mind, that I’m some kind of anomoly, like I’ve got something so wrong with me that no one can help me with because it’s so weird. I feel like my thoughts are trying to make sense of thoughts and make sense of things that can’t even be made sense out of. My mind feels so out of control. My own existence terrifies me, I’m so hyper aware of myself like I feel I’m constantly observing myself. I don’t know whether I’ve got some kind of ocd because I’m constantly checking in on myself. Feeling like this is totally ruining my life. I’ve sank into deep depression because of this and told no one. I’ve not been the same since last may but this weird feeling, whatever it is, will come and go so I’ll have a week or so where I feel back to normal and i honestly feel so good it’s the biggest relief just to feel normal. But it never lasts longer than two weeks and then I’m back feeling so horrendous again. I feel like there’s a normal flow of my thoughts but this weird thought/ feeling comes in constantly and it feels SO uncomfortable. That’s all I can describe this feeling as, awful discomfort that I’m somehow detached from my normal flow state and in some weird observational mode. I absolutely hate this and it’s destroying my life. I used to love my life, I’d do anything to just feel normal again. But this feeling I’m talking about- is this DP? Extreme discomfort in yourself??
