Depersonalization Support Forum banner

1 - 19 of 19 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
165 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Does anyone else get the constant anxious thoughts mine always consist of your going to die, what if this happens, what if that happens, etc etc I can’t switch them off and they In turn if I don’t control the physical anxiety always make me start to panic which brings the DP back. I suffer mostly from dr now I have that 24/7 but my DP kind of comes and goes in intensity or it sits at a very low level most of the time
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
19 Posts
Yup. I had this for a while. Mine always consisted of “you have brain damage” or “you have a brain tumor”. Every time this happens, stop what you’re doing and acknowledge these thoughts and weigh their credibility. Consciously acknowledge that these thoughts are irrational and are a result of DP/DR. After I practiced this for about a week, it became so obvious that these thoughts were total bullshit, and my reaction went from panicking over them to rolling my eyes. They gradually subsided and now I rarely get them anymore.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
445 Posts
yes I always have them ....and even worse thoughts than you

I take medication and it is way better now

I can give you the tip to not fight against the thoughts but rather think "ah it is my anxiety and dr/dp playing its tricks again ...it will go away"
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
165 Posts
Discussion Starter · #5 ·
@Chris90 and @Psyborg thank you both for sharing your experience and your tips, I do try and ignore them but then I get caught in a loop where they are loud and keep repeating themselves and eventually I will panic. But I am going to try and not fight against them and just accept them and be like ok it’s just anxiety and hopefully be able to eyeroll at them too.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4 Posts
Yep, you're not alone. I've found that at least in my case, DPDR related thoughts and sensations were made more intense by a twinge of OCD or at least obsessive tendencies that I have. Some of my thoughts are really "sticky" and like to play in my head over and over again. Most people have experienced depersonalization or derealization at some point, and can induce it if they try (like by staring into the mirror in your own eyes too long). It's a strange phenomenon. The only thing is that "normal" brains don't fixate on the weird thing, so they let that thought go. Your brain has fixated on this thing that scares you, and keeps replaying it.

Try to give your brain something constructive or positive to obsess over, when you can. In instances where that fails, remind yourself that these thoughts are just thoughts- part of our brain's constant chatter. No need to pay any more mind to it than that. Watch the thought come, face it, let it go. It sounds like you're where I was, where distractions didn't work and the thoughts are just shouting at you over and over and over. But remember... they're just thoughts. Reality (and you) continue to exist, despite how terrified you feel. You're still standing. Telling yourself "omg no stop thinking that!" won't help- that's like telling yourself not to think of a pink elephant- you immediately do.

You're just gonna have to come to terms with the fact that, while uncomfortable, your thoughts are not dangerous. You are not in danger. You're just smart... you're aware of things (the nature of self, reality, that everyone dies someday) that most blissfully ignorant people are not : ) Once you stop thinking "I MUST END THESE THOUGHTS" and accept that at least for now, they are going to happen- once you stop giving a fart is when they loosen their grip. Recognize and acknowledge the thought ("ok thought, I hear you, I see you, thank you for your input"), sit with it (different than indulging in it and going down its rabbit hole) and then let it go. Picture putting it on a leaf in the river, and letting it float away. If another one comes, do the same thing.

I posted my recovery story on another thread and some of the things I did/ things I reminded myself when I was really struggling. I hope this helps!

xo
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
93 Posts
You're just gonna have to come to terms with the fact that, while uncomfortable, your thoughts are not dangerous. You are not in danger. You're just smart... you're aware of things (the nature of self, reality, that everyone dies someday) that most blissfully ignorant people are not : ) Once you stop thinking "I MUST END THESE THOUGHTS" and accept that at least for now, they are going to happen- once you stop giving a fart is when they loosen their grip. Recognize and acknowledge the thought ("ok thought, I hear you, I see you, thank you for your input"), sit with it (different than indulging in it and going down its rabbit hole) and then let it go. Picture putting it on a leaf in the river, and letting it float away. If another one comes, do the same thing.
Lolo, I really like the leaf analogy! I am going to use that. I think it will be really helpful. Thank you.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
445 Posts
@Chris90 and @Psyborg thank you both for sharing your experience and your tips, I do try and ignore them but then I get caught in a loop where they are loud and keep repeating themselves and eventually I will panic. But I am going to try and not fight against them and just accept them and be like ok it's just anxiety and hopefully be able to eyeroll at them too.
a few months ago I was in an intense emergency state where I landed in the psychiatric emergency 3 times due to this . in my case my current doc says that I was psychotic too though . I know the feeling of that "loop" and panicing

other than accepting the thoughts and thinking "it is just my anxiety/dp/dr or whatever playing tricks on me" is to get busy with stuff and at least trying to live "normal"

me personally those thoughts and the anxiety coming with it was soo bad that I wasnt able to take it anymore and I started taking medication again . hopefully you will make it without meds but if you should decide to take meds I would recommend effexor because it helped me a lot . but many people say the withdrawal from effexor is very bad
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
344 Posts
Yeah I’ve been there. For me, the thoughts gradually sounded more ridiculous and less bothersome. But this is why weed gives us such bad DP, ridiculous existential ideas become more believable. Don’t know if weed gave you DP personally but for many of us it did.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,395 Posts
Intrusive/impulsive like "throw the coffee in his face", or "change lanes and hit them head on", LOL. I've had them, and they are disturbing. I would never have guessed that anyone else could share

some of these bizarre suggestions....until one night a very long time ago, I was watching Saturday Night Live. During a skit, one of the actors spoke of having suggestions to cross the center line and crash another

vehicle head on. I raised an eyebrow at that, and recognized there was more to this phenomena than met my eye. Now, I have to wonder....how many unexplained head on crashes are the result of

one of the parties failing to ignore a pathological impulse? My impulses are gone, by the way. I had ECT in 2014 and it worked well for me.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
19 Posts
@Chris90 and @Psyborg thank you both for sharing your experience and your tips, I do try and ignore them but then I get caught in a loop where they are loud and keep repeating themselves and eventually I will panic. But I am going to try and not fight against them and just accept them and be like ok it's just anxiety and hopefully be able to eyeroll at them too.
I noticed that trying to ignore them never really made them go away, and I actually became more anxious. It was as though I was running from them, whether they be "you have brain damage" thoughts or the totally ridiculous ones like "you just sneezed and a micro droplet of snot just fell into the USB drive of your computer and will surely ruin it". Once I started to focus on these thoughts and ask myself if they actually had any factual basis, my attitude towards them changed because the answer was always no. On the rare occasion they occur now, I just remember that they were nonsense like the last million intrusive thoughts and poof, they're gone and they don't continue nagging me.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
343 Posts
I used to, but not really anymore. I used to be afraid of death and that I'm going to die. Nowadays when I feel so bad that I'm going to die, which happens sometimes, I just adapt to it mentally. I adopt this attitude that it's completely fine if I were to die now. I am going to die one day anyway; what's so bad about dying today? People die all the time. There, someone died right now. Another one died!

Sure, there's the sentiment of having so much more to accomplish that you can't die now, but how important is that really in the grand scheme of things? Global civilization will be wiped out one day anyway, and you're probably overestimating the impact that you won't be able to have. Furthermore, like I mentioned, that possible impact will be erased one day anyway. Outside of my circle of friends and family, I'm a pretty useless and dispensable organism.

I'm not saying any of this to say life is worthless. Not at all: life definitely has value while it lasts. I'm just saying that it's irrational to be afraid of death. It can't be escaped and is part of the natural cycle of life. After you die, it won't matter if you died in 2019 or 2080. To you it won't. To someone else it may as long as they live, but that's beside the point.

So I suppose I changed my attitude to the intrusive thought, and assumed a different perspective, which then became just another thought.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
445 Posts
we are so afraid of death because we are scared of what comes after . me personally I am scared of god . and yes he exists . you dont have to believe in him but I know he exists and I am scared that he will put me in hell .

on days where my anxiety is better I think that he most likely will not put me in hell since he is merciful

another reason why we are freaked out of death is the feeling of not existing anymore . "the end" . a different stage of "existing" without existing anymore
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
343 Posts
we are so afraid of death because we are scared of what comes after . me personally I am scared of god . and yes he exists . you dont have to believe in him but I know he exists and I am scared that he will put me in hell .

on days where my anxiety is better I think that he most likely will not put me in hell since he is merciful

another reason why we are freaked out of death is the feeling of not existing anymore . "the end" . a different stage of "existing" without existing anymore
I like to entertain an alternative thought that succumbing to dogmatic religious doctrine is actually the ticket to hell, and maintaining the position of a free thinker yields rewards. Think of it as a test of a "strength of spirit".

I don't actually believe in any sort of hell, but it's an interesting alternative perspective.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
445 Posts
I like to entertain an alternative thought that succumbing to dogmatic religious doctrine is actually the ticket to hell, and maintaining the position of a free thinker yields rewards. Think of it as a test of a "strength of spirit".

I don't actually believe in any sort of hell, but it's an interesting alternative perspective.
nah I dont think that is the case . but I do think that people who abuse religion for their evil minds (you know who I mean ....those who behead people etc.) will definitely go to hell

I do think hell exists . there is no way that bad people who do horrific stuff will be in the same place as good people . that would be too easy ;) I am pretty sure we will all be judged in the end . I also think that religion can give you strength and make you live a better life . however for some odd reason I am freaked out of religion at the same time and it triggers my anxiety more lol
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
343 Posts
I do think hell exists . there is no way that bad people who do horrific stuff will be in the same place as good people . that would be too easy
wink.png
I am pretty sure we will all be judged in the end .
The problem with this is that you're applying your human rationality to the universe and all existence in general, and assuming that there is such a fairness and justness in place even in death. The very limited scope of human reasoning, and common sense, is probably not the extent of the logic according to which existence and the universe operates.

Yes, it would make sense with human logic that there would be some sort of judging process at the end-of course following the tenets of human morality-where the bad people go to the bad place and the good people to the good place, but this is just a very close-minded, idealistic, and limited way of seeing it. It's a very human way of seeing it because it's based on the idea of morality.

The fact is that we are pathetic creatures on a minuscule planet in an infinite universe who think they somehow have the capability of knowing what occurs after death just because some old texts say so. I'm inclined to believe that I will simply cease to exist when I die until given a reason to think otherwise. I don't fully deny other possibilities, but I don't see why I would jump on any religion bandwagon.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
445 Posts
The problem with this is that you're applying your human rationality to the universe and all existence in general, and assuming that there is such a fairness and justness in place even in death. The very limited scope of human reasoning is probably not the extent of the logic according to which existence and the universe operates.

Yes, it would make sense with human logic that there would be some sort of judging process at the end where the bad people go to the bad place and the good people to the good place, but this is just a very close-minded and limited way of seeing it. It's a very human way of seeing it because it's based on the idea of morality.

The fact is that we are pathetic creatures on a minuscule planet in an infinite universe who think they somehow have the capability of knowing what occurs after death.
it is the other way around . even if we as small creatures as you say have such a feeling for fairness and morality then the creator of the universe and creator of us will for sure have it

you are also forgetting that not all people have such a mindset . there are enough people who dont give a f**** about fairness and morality

there is a reason why we do have emotions and also can feel things like compassion . there is a reason why the universe is the way it is . there is a creator behind all that . there can not be a creation without a creator .

but of course I am not trying to convince you or anything . everybody has to decide for themselves what they want to believe in and if they want to believe in a god . but I am sure that god exists . I also had something happening in our family that proved me even more that god exists but I can not share it because people will likely just label it as bullshit
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
54 Posts
I'm in the group of people whose minds are relatively blank. My mind is quite dead and it has few thoughts. So it is peaceful in a way.

What are thoughts made of? They are made of nothing. They come and they go. They are not you. You are the awareness in which thoughts come and go. So let the thoughts flow but don't get attached to any of them or run away from them. Thoughts only have the power YOU give them! You are in control not the stupid mind.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
344 Posts
I'm in the group of people whose minds are relatively blank. My mind is quite dead and it has few thoughts. So it is peaceful in a way.

What are thoughts made of? They are made of nothing. They come and they go. They are not you. You are the awareness in which thoughts come and go. So let the thoughts flow but don't get attached to any of them or run away from them. Thoughts only have the power YOU give them! You are in control not the stupid mind.
It's amazing how people can have totally different experiences with DP, and they're all completely hellish. I never had blank mind, just hyperawareness and intrusive, existential thoughts that gave me horrible anxiety.
 
1 - 19 of 19 Posts
Top