[whiterabbit]

I think one of the roots of my dp stems from a great fear of conflict and a heightened anxiety and sensititivity to emotional, behavioural, verbal indicators of its presence or potential emergence. I think learning how to endure, resolve AND precipitate conflict is part of my 'cure'. Denying the expression of conflict, anger, and other 'difficult feelings' is definitely a contributor to my dp state. (In my emotional rule book handed on to me in childhood all feelings except pure happiness and serenity were 'difficult'!) DP seems to stem from a variety of sources for different people, but I think some of the above may also hold true for others on this board.

 

[whiterabbit]

I think one of the roots of my dp stems from a great fear of conflict and a heightened anxiety and sensititivity to emotional, behavioural, verbal indicators of its presence or potential emergence. I think learning how to endure, resolve AND precipitate conflict is part of my 'cure'. Denying the expression of conflict, anger, and other 'difficult feelings' is definitely a contributor to my dp state. (In my emotional rule book handed on to me in childhood all feelings except pure happiness and serenity were 'difficult'!) DP seems to stem from a variety of sources for different people, but I think some of the above may also hold true for others on this board.

 

[Guest]

Definitely.

In my emotional rule book handed on to me in childhood even feelings of pure happiness and serenity were difficult.
I know I am an emotional wreck, so like a month ago I started to express all my anger (or most of it). It does not solve problems, but it helps with the dp. Regarding the anxiety it kind of makes it worse because expressing my frustration can lead to the realisation that I am alone and nobody cares, especially when someone does not take me seriously.

But the more one is able to respect one's own feelings, the more one is able to get one's point across. You know. But it is not that easy to become rude when one had an emotionally limiting family situation as a child. I still need some more practice although I made some progress.

 

[Guest]

Definitely.

In my emotional rule book handed on to me in childhood even feelings of pure happiness and serenity were difficult.
I know I am an emotional wreck, so like a month ago I started to express all my anger (or most of it). It does not solve problems, but it helps with the dp. Regarding the anxiety it kind of makes it worse because expressing my frustration can lead to the realisation that I am alone and nobody cares, especially when someone does not take me seriously.

But the more one is able to respect one's own feelings, the more one is able to get one's point across. You know. But it is not that easy to become rude when one had an emotionally limiting family situation as a child. I still need some more practice although I made some progress.

 

[Dreamer]

I agree as well. Since my childhood, I was never allowed to "be myself" or really allowed to express my feelings without being attacked.

As a result, I have been fighting for years against this. I'm gregarious, liked, in real life, yet I frequently have difficult expressing my opinions. I frequently cannot immediately respond to other people properly, I become confused. Sometimes I come off as an idiot, or too angry, or I try to please.

I'm noting that as time goes on, that there is nothing wrong with expressing my opinion, and really that means accepting that who I am is "OK".

It has taken a VERY long time to get here. I'm almost 46, Yipes, and only beginning to come into my own. But I'd say at minimum, I see the anxiety that pops up when I'm not myself (and subsequent DP at times) ... I DO have some control over that.

I can't relax in ANY situation to be honest. Even when I'm enjoying myself. Conscious work on this DOES help, but it's work.

Best,
D :shock:

 

[Dreamer]

I agree as well. Since my childhood, I was never allowed to "be myself" or really allowed to express my feelings without being attacked.

As a result, I have been fighting for years against this. I'm gregarious, liked, in real life, yet I frequently have difficult expressing my opinions. I frequently cannot immediately respond to other people properly, I become confused. Sometimes I come off as an idiot, or too angry, or I try to please.

I'm noting that as time goes on, that there is nothing wrong with expressing my opinion, and really that means accepting that who I am is "OK".

It has taken a VERY long time to get here. I'm almost 46, Yipes, and only beginning to come into my own. But I'd say at minimum, I see the anxiety that pops up when I'm not myself (and subsequent DP at times) ... I DO have some control over that.

I can't relax in ANY situation to be honest. Even when I'm enjoying myself. Conscious work on this DOES help, but it's work.

Best,
D :shock:

 

[Dreamer]

And P.S.
I also have never REALLY felt completely happy, EVER. It's as though I can't allow that either. It's a damned shame, as I've accomplished a lot in my life, despite this crap. Sadness and rage are more "real" for me.

I have pride re: things in retrospect. I can laugh. But I would love to feel things literally to the fullest. Without DP/DR, yes, dear GOD. But also in a psychological sense.

 

[Dreamer]

And P.S.
I also have never REALLY felt completely happy, EVER. It's as though I can't allow that either. It's a damned shame, as I've accomplished a lot in my life, despite this crap. Sadness and rage are more "real" for me.

I have pride re: things in retrospect. I can laugh. But I would love to feel things literally to the fullest. Without DP/DR, yes, dear GOD. But also in a psychological sense.