compulsive monitoring of dpdr symptoms because of emotional numbness

i dont think we experience dpdr chronically because there are obsessive compulsive components. in my experience and observations this compulsion happens because there is no other things at my life i can focus on and „feel“ them. if i would have emotional reactions on the other parts on my life, the attention on the symptoms would decrease automatically. just like people who can have bigger problems than other medical diseases they have. for instance someone with bad cancer, can still say that his family or children do have more importance than his illness. or someone bounded to the wheelchair can definitely forget his disability when sitting in the cinema (because healthy people dont anything else either). but for us, or for me, their is no cinema where i can sit and forget about my symptoms. most of the time im busy and have actually a pretty good life. i have a wonderful wife. i moved to a entirely new city from my hometown 650 kilometres away to build my family. im not bounded on my parents place as many people with chronic dpd are. but still, all of this dont change anything in my suffering. the last couple of days i got somehow worse. i really felt the pain how my life became in the last 3 years, and it destroyed me over and over again. i literally felt that pain on my chest physically.

man, i dont know how to get better. i dont know how to become better. if someone of you know something please say me. im planning in the course of this year to making very detailed diagnostic tests of my brain and other parts of my body. i have bad hashimotos and chronic low vitamin d. but never believe that these things can be the cause of all of this because i got this issues long before i got the dpdr on january 2020. at my home country turkey there is a very good, technologically high end hospital where i can afford thanks to the cheap currency there almost everything diagnosis and treatment wise. but i dont know where to begin. please make me some recommendations. ill be grateful.

once i did a qeeg there, and the doc said that my brain shows a very similar pattern to other patients who were diagnosed with major depression. but other than that, my brain is okay he said. i got very high scores on every depression scales. but dont know man. depression or dpdr or maybe even both. its just horrible..

dont know what to say anymore. please say anything what you think about my prognosis and about my future, what i can or should try. i have a very dark time lately. the last 2-3 months i was actually doing okay.