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Hi my name is Tris and I’m fixing to turn 20. I have had problems with anxiety for 3-4 years now but within the last year and a half it’s gotten a lot worse. Recently I’ve started having these panic attacks that lead to me feeling like the world around just isn’t real. Sometimes I don’t even feel like I’m real. I wake up and most mornings I’m just in this state of being where I really don’t have many feelings. I’m finding it hard to discuss this topic with my SO now because I’ve tried and tried yet he still doesn’t completely understand it. It’s almost like I don’t even feel like I’m breathing for myself sometimes if that makes sense. I mainly just feel out of touch like I’m not in control. Some days I wake up and I’m fine for an hour or so then I have this sudden thought that I’m not alive or that I’m not real and it freaks me out even more. I’m really just trying to figure out what’s wrong with me so I figured I’d ask you guys. TIA
 

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Hey Tris, sorry to hear about the trouble you've been having, I'm 22 and I've had 3 marijuana induced panic attacks (just couldn't get enough I guess) with some pretty crazy derealization that never fully went away. I've been experiencing very similar symptoms as you for the past 2 months, and I know how hard it is. I find it difficult to give others advice, seeing as how my existence still feels extremely surreal most of the time, but I can tell you what's been helping me improve so far. Whenever I have a moment where my DR feels particularly strong, my instinctual reaction was to flip the fuck out; further fueling the anxiety that caused my DR in the first place. This is not a cycle that I am interested in perpetuating. In the last few days my "this isn't real" panic has lessened a decent amount, and I'm feeling better about the future.

The way I see it things are either real, or they aren't. I'm a real philosopher, I know. If everything is real then it is as they say: my anxiety has gotten me to the point where I've become so overwhelmed that I feel that everything I've ever known is "fake", but I can eventually lower my anxiety levels and feel myself again. On the other hand my existence could be nothing more than a fleeting thought of a 4th dimensional omnipotent being, and I'll be damned if I'm going to let myself suffer in a thought.

It's 3 am and this is the first time I've ever tried to write about DR, so hopefully it made at least a tiny bit of sense, though it seems unlikely.

Hope you're all doing better every day,

-Jack
 
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