[Guest]

I was searching through old posts and I found an advice Janine wrote to someone a while ago that I thought would be helpful to all of us, so here it goes in a shortened version... (Janine, I hope it's ok that I'm quoting it here but it did help me lately)

"...you are desperate to find SOME change that will cure you. Nobody else has the answer, you are determined YOU will find the answer...

You land on some new approach and briefly feel hopeful. "This is it! This will work!" Except it doesn't.

.....

What you are doing is not working. And it feels like you are doing different things all the time, but you are not. You are repeating exactly the same cycle.

You've got to break that cycle-it is not working and you are only changing tiny parts of it-it's the same exact cycle you've been on for nearly a year.

New You: (grin)
1. When you go to therapy, talk about anything except your symptoms. The therapist already knows you have panic, dr, dp, obsessive thoughts, fers of insanity etc.....

2. Try to get a job. I have no idea if you'll be able to do it or not. You might be too anxious. But you need to TRY....

3. Find three activities that you sort of enjoy doing that do NOT involve thinking or talking about your symptoms. Movies, reading, talking, drawing, exercising, whatever. But pick three and they cannot have ANYTHING to do with you talking or thinking about yourself. Then the next time you find yourself starting to think about "how am I ever going to have a life???" STOP. Just stop. And FORCE yourself to do one of your three things. If you start to do one and you are still thinking "this is stupid. ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS MY HORRIBLE SITUATION..." then say "okay but I'm still going to force myself to do this thing nonetheless..." and then use every ounce of human strength you possess to FORCE your mind to try to not harp on your situation"

These things are SO hard to do. SO HARD.

You will read them and think about them, and decide "oh, that might not work anyway" or you will try them and at the first failure, you'll stop.

IF YOU DO THEM and if you STICK WITH THEM, you will be astonished at the end of one week how much different you feel. You will have a chance to SEE for YOURSELF that I am right-you will see in yourself that you feel SO different and you will really "GET" that this is the way"

Pretty amazing huh? I'll post some more "classic Janine" posts later in hopes that maybe we can come back to them and be helped=)

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

 

[Guest]

One more that was Janine's recent advice to me but I think might apply to most of us here:

"There is something odd that happens with us, and I do understand this: we FEEL like we NEED to keep our attention right on the symtpoms and all the weird feelings...as if our attention to them is HOLDING us in this side of sanity.

But no one, NO one can "will" themselves into staying sane. You are sane only because you are sane....not because you are DOING anything to keep yourself that way.

The anxiety and obsessions will just keep mounting and mounting....there is no "peak" to reach, no "Place" to get to where it will stop or turn around.

ONly YOU can turn it around....by trying as hard as you can to relax a bit and to FORCE your attention onto anything else besides yourself.

I know you BELIEVE that you have thoughts and desires and impulses that nobody knows about, and that if we really knew, we'd understand that you really are close to being crazy. Not true.

I had a hundred "secret" thoughts and horrible ideas and I was positive NOBODY on this earth ever thought that way.

That's part of the illness...and the illness is only anxiety and obsessionalism... "

 

[Guest]

I'm turning obsessive here but I think this is yet another "classic Janine" post that is brilliant and very very helpful:

"We sort of "split ourselves" in two during those bad states. We do NOT trust ourselves at all, at least not trust ourselves as a regular normal human being.

We DO trust our "observer" self to watch out and judge our every thought and feeling. We invest TOO much "trust" in the guard part of ourselves..as if that wild and dangerous human that we are MUST be watched constantly or "it" will go berzerk.

We need to stop watching ourselves live.

We need to stop watching ourselves think.

And then one day, we turn around and say "wow....it's been so long....since I thought that way..."

To badly paraphrase a great Carl Sandburg poem: recovery is not a thunder of hooves in the night.
Recovery comes in on little quiet cat feet.

One gentle step at a time.... "

 

[Guest]

HOWLING!!! :lol:

It's like a Medley of my greatest "hits"

Love ya,
now LISTEN to me! grin
J

 

[Guest]

"We sort of "split ourselves" in two during those bad states. We do NOT trust ourselves at all, at least not trust ourselves as a regular normal human being.

We DO trust our "observer" self to watch out and judge our every thought and feeling. We invest TOO much "trust" in the guard part of ourselves..as if that wild and dangerous human that we are MUST be watched constantly or "it" will go berzerk.

I remember someone once said to me: you put a lot of trust in your distrust. This reminds me of that.

 

[Guest]

Wendy,

My parents said the same thing to me in regard to my anxiety etc.

I think that Janine could not be more right... and yes, I will listen to her and absorb it all to the best of my abilities=)

 

[Guest]

Tidal, Janine is not ALways right..lol, so keep that in mind, but most of the time she is though.

This part:

We invest TOO much "trust" in the guard part of ourselves..as if that wild and dangerous human that we are MUST be watched constantly or "it" will go berzerk.

This strikes me, as I dont feel Im guarding myself from myself, but actually from whats happening (could be happening) around me/to me. Im continuously 'on guard'.
It could be Im guarding myself from myself, but Im not aware of that (thats ofcourse what the Dp is for, isnt it?).
I dont know, it just doesnt feel I need to guard myself from myself to keep me from becoming wild and dangerous..lol

 

[Guest]

Wendy's right (well, not about the part of me not always being right, grin grin)....

I don't think that "fear of losing control of self" is true for everyone...however, I do think it's true in Tidal's case.

Each of us expresses our obsessional states in slightly different ways, ways that symbolize our particular issues.

So, completely agree...we need to each find something that speaks to us personally, and not worry or compare ourselves to somebody else's "key obsession."

Peace,
J

 

[Guest]

I see your point Wendy. As Janine said, it's true in my case but may not apply to all of us. Also, keep in mind that the quote was Janine's post to my particular question/concern so it was said in a specific context. In either case, I think it's a good advice for those of us who need it=)

 

[Martinelv]

Janine is never right. Never has a true word sprung from her mouth.

:wink:

I jest. I suggest (hey - that rhymes) those of you suffering from this dreadfull curse don't just read her advice and nod your head, you have to ACT on it. NOW ! However hard it is. Think about it...you don't really have a choice do you ? If I put a gun to your head and told you to dance, you'd dance. For me, DR/DP is like a part of you is attempting to suffocate yourself with a plastic bag...you have to learn how to resist...or cope..

 

[Guest]

I have never read such good advice as Janines.

7 years of DP, enough is enough. For those who are able to stop thinking about it, that what you have to do. I tried it this morning and even though I did't get reality back, I felt less anxity and much happier.

At one moment I tuned into the unreality again to see how it would feel after not thinking about at and it got much worse. I realied that all day I have been focussing on my vision to see if it looks real or not.

I am really going to do this. I believe with all my heart that this is the way out.

I would love to read any replies but I won't be coming here for a while!

I will let you know if there is any 'good' news.

Remember, the more you focus on it the worse it gets.

Thank you everyone for all your help and especially to Janine for giving the me best advice I have ever heard.

Suz X

 

[Guest]

For Janine.
Your howling hurts my head...

If I put a gun to your head and told you to dance, you'd dance.

Mm-hm.

7 years of DP

21 years.

I dont have an identity. I'm a drone.

 

[Guest]

Last night I literally forced myself out of the door and went to dinner with a friend. For those of us living in NYC, DP/DR can get "slightly" scary in big crowds but I tried to not to tune into it. I had moments when I was freaked out but overall it was great! It was definitely better than staying home and feeling sorry for myself.
Thanks Janine!

 

[dreamcatcher]

well done tidal......you are a star

 

[Guest]

Thanks Dreamcatcher! =)
Hope you're doing well.

 

[Guest]

Yes Tidal, well done! 8)

 

[g-funk]

I am a walking advert for Janine's advice. If it wasn't for Ms Baker and the kick up the arse she delivers so well, I would not be able to say that today I feel totally calm, confident and at ease with myself AND the fact that I still have work to do on 'me'. This summer was the worst time of my entire life. It was sheer horror. I have never been in such a deep dark hole. Yet this year is turning out to be one of the best and most important in my life.

 

[Guest]

This summer was the worst time of my entire life. It was sheer horror. I have never been in such a deep dark hole. Yet this year is turning out to be one of the best and most important in my life.

Gfunk, this is the exact same story for me. I had the most horrific summer of my entire life but this year is turning out to be one of the most important years of my life.

We're in the same boat.

 

[Guest]

Well I'm still in the deep dark hole of DP/DR/anxiety but I feel like it happened for a reason. I read my old diaries recently and I've been bottling in so much stuff it seems. I've never been myself. I put so much pressure on myself and tried to be the person that others wanted me to be so much that it all sort of culminated in this....

Maybe (I hope) this will turn out to be an important event in my life... important in a positive way.

I do know for sure that this condition forced me to be only around people that I actually like, to be more honest, to be more vulnerable.. all aspects of myself that I used to hide.

I think that with Janine's help and wise advice from those who recovered I'll be able to beat this and not revert to the person I used to be. I actually don't really like the "old", pre-DP/DR me who pretended a lot and lived with "I wish I could do this" or "I wish I could act this way". I want to be a person who actually acts. As Des once said in his old post, to do is to live.

 

[dreamcatcher]

I think that with Janine's help and wise advice from those who recovered I'll be able to beat this and not revert to the person I used to be. I actually don't really like the "old", pre-DP/DR me who pretended a lot and lived with "I wish I could do this" or "I wish I could act this way". I want to be a person who actually acts.

I 100% agree with this tidal, i think sometimes i am scared or recovery because there were so many things about myself i didnt like....i hope i can recover and be the person i would like to be and learn something from this horrible experience :roll: