Hi all,
I have had DP/DR for 3 years but made big improvements. I started to adopt a healthy lifestyle and focused a lot on mindfulness. I saw big improvements over the months and years but almost two years ago, something happened.
I got ill. It felt like a heavy flu and I just tried to give my body the rest and care that it needed to get better. The thing is: I never got better.
I had a lot of symptoms:
- Body sometimes didn't warm up. Very cold feet, nose and ears
- A lot of shivers
- Extremely tiered, feel ill all the time
- Very big bags under my eyes
- Headaches
- No muscle power
- Sudden sweat attacks/body heating up
- Burning sensations underneath my skin and also felt a lot like invisible bugs crawling underneath my skin
- Sometimes feeling pain in my organs
- A lot of itchiness all over my body, especially my legs
- Tiered and watery eyes
- A lot of slime from my throat
- My cavities felt full
- Weird skin patches on my elbows
- A lot of small dots on my body like rash/hives
I went to every docter possible, got different blood tests done, went to a lot of hospitals, got MRI scans etc. The only thing that came out was that I had developed a lite allergy for house dust mite but the docters said that that could in no way explain all the symptoms in that extreme way. There was nothing wrong with my health, yet I had all these symptoms. Due to all the itchiness and rash on my body I thought there surely must be some kind of insect or bug living in my bed because they were the worst when I was lying in bed. The thing was: I had these symptoms in all the beds where I slept and other people who slept in the same bed felt nothing.
I still suffer from all these symptoms talked about above. All the symptoms are in line with eachother. So everything is worse or everything is a bit less. The symptoms are also exactly the same all the time. It feels like a never ending loop. I am very sick --> 2/3 days feel a bit better --> very sick for days --> 2/3 days feel a bit better --> very sick for days and so on and so on. I can't work, go to school, can't exersice or anything. It very frustrating sometimes.
One day a very good friend of mine began talking about psychosomatic illnesses and that it was a good possibility that I was suffering from it aswell. In the beginning I was in very big dinial because I saw psychosomatic as something that was in your head. Later I learned that psychosomatic means that you have physicall symptoms that are very real, but they are created by mental imbalance and overall stress and anxiety.
I started thinking back about the time where I got ill and it actually made a lot of sense. I was suffering from DP/DR, had bad anxiety, was constantly in battle with my thoughts, my parents just got divorced, my mom was an alcoholic and went throught a very bad depression, I was just starting my stressfull internship, went to the gym like 5/6 times a week, was highly sensitive to my surroundings and burried all my emotions inside. My body just couldn't take it anymore and just switched off entirely. The first year of my illness I even had trouble walking and getting up the stairs because my muscles were so soured and tired all the time.
I am now in a place that I in a way have accepted my illness, but some voice in my head keeps telling me that there must be something else going on in my body. Maybe it is a virus after all? It it someting worse? This all can't be psychosmatic right? I am now going to a haptonoma, a psychosomatic physiotherapist and next month I am starting a recovery route at an organization that is specialised with psychosomatic illnesses.
My question is if somebody recognizes this is a way or got tips for recovering from this? Do you think it is all psychosomatic or do you think it is something else? At this moment I am trying to get to my emotions and express my emotions better instead of burrying everything inside, what is maybe the root of the problem. I read a lot about hypnotherapy and that releasing emotions is a way to heal, but the organization where I am going to is saying that I firstly have to learn to feel more and getting to my emotions better before doing something that is so heavy for your mind and body.
I am sorry if this story comes across as something a bit all over the place, but it just a lot to put in words. I really hope somebody can help me with this in any way
Luuk
I have had DP/DR for 3 years but made big improvements. I started to adopt a healthy lifestyle and focused a lot on mindfulness. I saw big improvements over the months and years but almost two years ago, something happened.
I got ill. It felt like a heavy flu and I just tried to give my body the rest and care that it needed to get better. The thing is: I never got better.
I had a lot of symptoms:
- Body sometimes didn't warm up. Very cold feet, nose and ears
- A lot of shivers
- Extremely tiered, feel ill all the time
- Very big bags under my eyes
- Headaches
- No muscle power
- Sudden sweat attacks/body heating up
- Burning sensations underneath my skin and also felt a lot like invisible bugs crawling underneath my skin
- Sometimes feeling pain in my organs
- A lot of itchiness all over my body, especially my legs
- Tiered and watery eyes
- A lot of slime from my throat
- My cavities felt full
- Weird skin patches on my elbows
- A lot of small dots on my body like rash/hives
I went to every docter possible, got different blood tests done, went to a lot of hospitals, got MRI scans etc. The only thing that came out was that I had developed a lite allergy for house dust mite but the docters said that that could in no way explain all the symptoms in that extreme way. There was nothing wrong with my health, yet I had all these symptoms. Due to all the itchiness and rash on my body I thought there surely must be some kind of insect or bug living in my bed because they were the worst when I was lying in bed. The thing was: I had these symptoms in all the beds where I slept and other people who slept in the same bed felt nothing.
I still suffer from all these symptoms talked about above. All the symptoms are in line with eachother. So everything is worse or everything is a bit less. The symptoms are also exactly the same all the time. It feels like a never ending loop. I am very sick --> 2/3 days feel a bit better --> very sick for days --> 2/3 days feel a bit better --> very sick for days and so on and so on. I can't work, go to school, can't exersice or anything. It very frustrating sometimes.
One day a very good friend of mine began talking about psychosomatic illnesses and that it was a good possibility that I was suffering from it aswell. In the beginning I was in very big dinial because I saw psychosomatic as something that was in your head. Later I learned that psychosomatic means that you have physicall symptoms that are very real, but they are created by mental imbalance and overall stress and anxiety.
I started thinking back about the time where I got ill and it actually made a lot of sense. I was suffering from DP/DR, had bad anxiety, was constantly in battle with my thoughts, my parents just got divorced, my mom was an alcoholic and went throught a very bad depression, I was just starting my stressfull internship, went to the gym like 5/6 times a week, was highly sensitive to my surroundings and burried all my emotions inside. My body just couldn't take it anymore and just switched off entirely. The first year of my illness I even had trouble walking and getting up the stairs because my muscles were so soured and tired all the time.
I am now in a place that I in a way have accepted my illness, but some voice in my head keeps telling me that there must be something else going on in my body. Maybe it is a virus after all? It it someting worse? This all can't be psychosmatic right? I am now going to a haptonoma, a psychosomatic physiotherapist and next month I am starting a recovery route at an organization that is specialised with psychosomatic illnesses.
My question is if somebody recognizes this is a way or got tips for recovering from this? Do you think it is all psychosomatic or do you think it is something else? At this moment I am trying to get to my emotions and express my emotions better instead of burrying everything inside, what is maybe the root of the problem. I read a lot about hypnotherapy and that releasing emotions is a way to heal, but the organization where I am going to is saying that I firstly have to learn to feel more and getting to my emotions better before doing something that is so heavy for your mind and body.
I am sorry if this story comes across as something a bit all over the place, but it just a lot to put in words. I really hope somebody can help me with this in any way
Luuk
