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It's somewhat hard for me to decide what to write in an online blog. When I write in my diary, there aren't many rules but online it's hard to know who my audience may be (if any) and what my main topics should be.

Lately I've had a main goal, being focus. I've been listening to a few audiobooks on the subject. The one I'm currently listening to is called "The Practicing Mind: Developing Focus and Discipline in your life." I'm an avid follower of any and all self-development books I find meaningful. There's a healthy way of doing this and an unhealthy way but now I'd consider myself on the healthy end of the spectrum.

My problem is that I want to succeed in everything but I spread myself too thin or get too preoccupied with things that don't need as much time, although recently I've gotten better. This can be useful in a way like when the excessive thought and staying in the head leads to creative ideas and analyzing a situation & seeing little details in a social interaction, etc. This isn't useful when I don't get into a task because my mind is elsewhere and therefore don't receive benefits from the task & lose time or when I get stressed out.

My current solution: Instead of working in a bunch of random life observation based documents but not moving forward (like personal goals, notes on books I read, book I'm writing, some memories I wrote down, etc) I want to form goals and focus on them, specifically.

Does anyone want to partner up with me in this aim? I've learned a lot on my own but find that when I have some back and forth feedback with other like-minded people we both learn faster, and are motivated to stick to a goal.

If anyone is interested in any one of the things I'm doing and want to share their own ideas, I'd be open to that...
  • Practicing mindfulness meditations on a regular basis (rather than dissociation meditations to take an emotional break). My current favorite is a "Brief Mindfulness of Breathing" by Dr. Miles Neale which I bought on youtube
  • Sharing one or two projects currently in their lives & getting into them while
  • Creating loose daily planner
  • Writers? Anyone?
  • Taking Supplements: B-50 vitamins and seeing any changes (for neurological health) as well as multi-vitamin and fish oil
  • Synchronizing growth- related books, currently The Practicing Mind
  • I occasionally listen to affirmations, depending on what they say... It seems like it could become delusional if affirmations are too far from the truth. I've sort of developed an intent on working towards something without constantly holding it in my attention & inducing worry. I want to focus about as much effort into something as I'd like in the long run & getting into life activities as they are (for example, I can hold the intent/ affirmation of seeing the world in a realistic way, without anxiety and dissociation, but just go about my everyday business... spend time with friends... do homework& what not)
  • 20 minutes of exercise (I've always been fit but find this little habit useful)
Right now I'm focusing on my highly creative nature & loving relationships and working on concentration/ attention which can be difficult at times... I'll get more into difficulties that arose another time. I could keep writing forever lol.

Specific actions today: Today was kind of a lazy day. I woke up at my boyfriends house. He's a wonderful, silly & loving man who I've been with slightly over a year after meeting at an Engineering Internship. We packed up our things & I went over my Dads for some Family Guy and gift wrapping. I arrived at my mom's around 10. This whole weekend was sort of similar, more social than productive, not too much tension & some fun. I have a lot of family obligations coming up but there's a few projects I want to work on:
1. building a website with one of my best friends... we consitered,, and but settled on something related to the site itself which is aimed towards people who seek personal growth (nothing to do with buttmunching ...yeah our humor is a bit fucked up)
anyways... I'm not going to reveal too much until we make more progress but if you are like-minded, feel free to reach out. I'm also going to work on staying in the moment, one personal project (either working on a nonficiton book or a story I had started a while ago), perhaps keeping a planner, meditation/ exercise, spending time with friends and perhaps blogging. No more unnecessary docs... I want to just play around with things I like before heading back to Engineering school.

Well that is all for tonight,

^ps. this was for a general blog but to DP people, I have questions

Did anyone take lamotrigine? I did before and it seems that my symptoms have been worse ever since going off of it, perhaps because it gave me more DP as a side effect and my brain got used to firing in that way. Hopefully it is psychological and changeable rather than biological...
Did anyone find that some of the things I'm doing worked for them? Do lifestyle changes effect seeing the world in a normal way or are those two separate things? I'm starting to think they can be separated...
Has anyone seen aural hallucinates when they get derealization?
Does taking the mind off of it help?
Does anyone experience ADHD symptoms and get lost in their own inner world rather than remaining focus?
Also, does anyone avoid really focusing out of fear of inducing DP?
Is it worth seeing a neurologist for DP or nah? I did when I was younger (
Yellow Amber Font Automotive lighting Symmetry
& found nothing, it went away for years & flared up recently so mine is probably psychological
I know that family dysfunction is a common theme, how do you all deal with home life and have you seen anything related in other relationships like friendships/ romantic?

Wishing the very best,
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