Changing Thoughts

For a brief period after taking the flax seed oil, I've felt almost completely normal, and I want to, but it seems like my subconscious still wants me to have this disorder. It's like wanting to get rid of a pimple (for lack of better example), but you're used to it so you don't want it to go. I also have been thinking things like: is the way I see the world actually an illusion? Am what I am seeing real? I don't feel DRed or DPed when I think this, it just makes me depressed. Does anyone else have thoughts like that?