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I want to tell EVERYONE that I am proud of yesterday and the day before.

BECAUSE....

I went to two parties with lots of people and I was doing pretty well despite dp.

My sister finished her degree and invited her colleagues and friends to celebrate this event. It wasn't a big deal for me to go to the first party because I have been relaxing the days before and that usuall helps me with the dp.

But as always when I am tired my dp gets worse and that was the case yesterday when another party took place.

Despite of being tired I got into the car to drive to the party.
On my way I unfortunately stopped at a shopping mall to get some stuff and there were a lot of people and I hate shopping malls anyway so I was pretty dped when I finally returned to my car.

When I arrived at my sister's house I was still in bad shape and I did not feel like talking to all those people at the party. I was pretty dped and all I could think of was how I could get better but when I listened to the conversations going on around me I felt like I did not want to get involved in that inane crap that people usually throw at each other when they want to pretend being happy and I wasn't in the mood of pretending anything, I was just "not there".

Finally I got something to eat and I sat down in the summer house and wanted to talk to the people at that table but I realized that they just did not have the same interests that I have and I was not in the mood for shitty small talk so I gave up.

All that made me really angry and it just sucked, the summer house was also pretty dark. I couldn't even enjoy my meal and I did not want to sit in a fucking dark house among fucking stupid idiots.

There was one table in the garden and the people there looked sportive and I like sports so I was like" damn, I am here and I want to at least be able to be myself", so I grabbed a chair, went to this table and said"I got to sit here with you guys because the summer house is so fucking dark". And the guy next to me said" yeah, of course, have a seat, man!"
Finally I could relax a bit and those guys there were much more like- minded.

I stayed for another four hours at that party and I could even avoid inane small talk cause I found an environment where I could be me a bit.

In the end I was almost dp free and it was easy to drive home.I fell asleep easily yesterday, and that is a sure sign that the evening was a success.
 

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That's great I! I'm glad you had a good experience. I shy away from social things these days too, so it's good you forced yourself to go and had a good time. Focusing out is the key to overcoming all this dp/anxiety stuff. I'm happy for you :D
 

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Yeah I just didn't want this post to float to the bottom unnoticed because it's a great story and very encouraging.
 
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