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Hi, my name is chandler I am 19 years of age and I'm not sure if i actually do have DP but from what I have been reading online and on research websites and whatever I can only assume that I do. I don't want to write a story about my life, but I woke up one morning about 3 years ago and I felt... different I suppose. At first it was like a numbing feeling as if I couldn't feel emotions like I used to, I couldn't talk to the people that I loved the same way, its as if my entire mind was put in a blender and then pieced back together half-assly. Still worked somewhat, I didn't think much of it at first so I continued to go to school and I found myself at a dilemma, It was a struggle to make conversation with my friends, like I didn't know what to say next, so we stood in silence until the bell was about to ring for class. This was the first think I noticed that had actually changed bc before making conversation was a synch i could talk with anyone about anything always having new things come to my mind just to talk about. The next thing i noticed was that i found myself staring. Not thinking, not focusing on anything at all, just drifting through space i guess. (don't say anything about capsing my (I)'s its too much work and i keep forgetting anyways) And when i would come back to reality or put my focus on my work or my teacher i couldn't hardly focus at all i would start thinking about why i was drifting, i had never done that before my mind was constantly thinking before but in that moment i almost felt numb like i wasn't in my chair i wasn't in my class i wasn't there at all. Soon that was all i could think about and its almost still that way today, these things happen to me everyday, surprisingly i still have a multitude of friends and i surround myself with them in hopes of distracting myself from the thoughts that i have but it doesn't really work , i still cant focus, i still cant conversate, and I'm really cutting this short in the end but i constantly find myself worrying or being anxious about pretty much everything that goes on around me such as my appearance, why i feel like this, am i going to feel this way forever, and i find myself wishing to go back to go back to the way i felt before i woke up that day and i hope and hope that ill wake up and be cured somehow but everyday is the same worrisome, foggy, blurred, emotionless day. If anyone feels the same way id very much like to talk to you or even hear your story or if you have some way of coping with this please reply i feel like ive tried everything there is but the days come and go just the same. :mrgreen: :cry:
 

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Hey,

This sounds so typical to me, i've been around and read a lot. (not that it counts for much) but it rings true. Numb and anxious is key words that come with DP.

I'd advice "Holy Grain Of DP" and reading the Introduction page. Good information. Next thing i would say is physiatrist who is trained in dissociate disorders or at least anxiety.

You under a lot of stress atm? (was it triggered with drugs (PM me if you don't want to disclose)

Either way, lowering anxiety naturally, good start, progress is not instant. Keep doing what you are doing though, sounds like you are keep on keeping on, which is great! It can and will get better, that might mean therapy, time, medication or/and all...

PM me if you need to chat
 
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