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The problem is I have anxiety all the time. Right now I'm sweating not just in my palms , it's like a full body heat rash. Which means the depersonalization is of course unbearable. And my heart beat feels like it's not mine and it's too weird, typing about it in detail just freaks me out . But if my brain didn't shut down and depersonalize I'd go insane. I'm not into that. :S However, this hyper-sanity is too much. I think I actually lack the level of insanity that normal people have . I have this hyper-sanity so I can run from a lion that doesn't exist or whatever. So I know I can't exist without DP . Question is how long can I continue to live with it. It's the most unnatural thing that is actually vital in order to be alive . Well I'm not dead yet. *sigh* . I just wish people understood what exactly I'm dealing with. They don't understand a panic attack for me has this "filth" attached. I mean I can't even tell them cause clearly as you can see here I suck at writing, and therefor talking . FML
 
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