[AnxiousAllen]

Hi everyone,
I have had derealization chronically since my first panic attack in 2006 but have lived a normal life until recently. I am pregnant and had a 10 day hospital stay in July and haven't been the same since. I have depression now, dizziness, depersonalizaton which I haven't had before and the scariest of symptoms is my lack of understand for the world around me. Yesterday I started freaking out because my mom could talk (logically I know everyone could talk) but I just stared at her while her mouth moved and sound came out of it and it was frightening to me. I see people talk and can hear them talk but it just looks strange. Their mouths are moving and sound is coming out of it. I also was freaked out by the fact that I can type. Cellphone usage feels strange to me sometimes too. I feel this way about everything around me, about how we are human and we drive cars and have stores and refrigerators and give birth to other human beings. I've even had thoughts of being an alien because I feel so strange living life. Like I was given a human body with this human's thoughts and memories but I don't feel like the person I used to be. Obviously I am aware I am not an alien but the world is strange to me. I don't really understand it. I have no sense of time. Day and night have no meaning for me. I was baffled by the fact that I could think and understand the English language and just language period and speak back to other people. AM I LOSING MY MIND? I know all of these things are a normal part of life that no other person questions but I just have a hard time understanding them which is crazy because I have been thinking and talking my whole life! I also find myself freaking ou about being alive, on Earth with all these other people walking around and living life. I often think of how we're all made of flesh and bones and we're squishy and can so easily be destroyed. I ask myself regularly what am I doing here. I have recently developed depression because I feel unreal, everything around me feels unreal. I have had this before but never to the degree I am experiencing it now. I've questioned having parents and even they feel strange to me at times. I am in a fog. I know what I'm doing and what I am saying but even talking feels weird and I'm getting hopeless because no one understands what I'm going through. When I tell someone I don't feel real they just smile and tell me "but you are real" and pinch me. Sometimes I wonder how I can feel the pain of something if I am so out of body. The out of body stuff I think I can handle, it's the questioning and understanding (or lack of understanding) the things around me that I can't stand. Have any of you felt this way? What are your thoughts? Am I losing my mind? I thought I might be schizophrenic but my psychologist assures me I'm not. I look perfectly normal to everyone around me but I am not. My head is in a fog 90% of the time, I can't think straight, can't make decisions, don't feel human, WTF is this? Can it really be just anxiety? I almost died in the hospital and am about to give birth to an unplanned (unwanted so to speak) pregnancy and am having a very hard time coming to terms with the fact that I am going to become a mom and a human is growing inside of me so my anxiety levels have been beyond severe but can anxiety really cause all of the things I am feeling/thinking? PLEASE HELP! ANY INSIGHT? THOUGHTS?

Not my story but we feel the same
Any thoughts?

 

[106473]

Not your story? confusing.

Reason no one probably replied is the wall of text can be very hard to make sense of.

A lot of people experience DP from pregnancy that I see, may it be the stress the body is under, the anxiety of what's going on, the hormone changes, I don't have the answer obviously, but you aren't alone.

All of the the worries and doubts are normal, in fact nothing you said surprises me, all seems class DP to me. First thing that will make life easier is distraction, over analysing or thinking extra hard about how weird things feel will end up in a loop where nothing will feel right. Sad but it's true.

I totally believe anxiety can cause all this, i'm open to a many views though, i believe anxiety may have altered the state of mind you experience, which with good coping techniques, could fade, failing that many medications have been beneficial to members. My first call would be to see what the doctor thinks, most unfortunately have not heard of DP, which is unbelievable, hopefully you find one who is understanding.

No you aren't schizophrenic, probably the most asked question, schizophrenic's experience different symptoms, anxiety can change your way of thinking, how you feel and how you feel around others, unfortunately, it's normal for DP.

Sorry I can't be much more help, if you have any other questions, fire away