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Part of what really gets me and what really makes me scared that this isn't the real world is the way in which people react to me.

People talk to me and go around their business like there is nothing wrong with me. Meanwhile I'm sat there trying to work out whether they're real or not.

What really gets me at the moment is my mum. She supposedly knows all the shit I've been through and has watched me at my very worst, but seems to act like I'm normal. She'll even seek emotional support off me! Which I just can't give, yet she tries to squeeze strength out of me for her own good, yet I can't even give myself emotional support! I'm so insecure, yet she comes to me for security!

So yeah what I wanted to get out of this thread is a. Can people notice that there is something seriously wrong with you? And b. Any advice on to how to tell her nicely that I am not capable of being that rock for her at the moment?
 

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i mean ur still the same person u r, i think ur mom still looks at u as if u were that old person u once were before the dp

i mean

my girlfriend treats me as if nothing is wrong

so does my mom and dad

they cant just always baby u

in there head ur completely normal, the battle with u is in ur head, it doesnt show in the outside world
 

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People see what the want to see, and of course, they don't observe the world through your eyes, only their own. What I don't understand is how people can't even imagine that other people can struggle. Most people do observe it, but they assume that it's me being rude or lazy (that includes many psychiatrists Ive gone to over the years seeking help for this). They also seem to enjoy making fun of some of my physical symptoms, like the eye roll and jaw movements I make in an attempt to get comfortable, or to force myself to try to focus on what they are saying and respond to it. They keep telling me that no doctor has found anything wrong with me...which means what? That illness is a social construct? That you are only "sick" if it isn't verified by a medical professional?

I'm not sure what advice I can give you.m with respect to helping your mother emotionally. Perhaps if you can just sit and listen (or act like you are listening if you are like me and struggle to process what they are saying), that might be all they need. Most people have told me that I'm a good listener and helped them a lot when they need someone to listen to. Most of the time I didn't let them know that I wasn't really listening. I let them think what they wanted if it made them feel better. If she expects you to say or do something or express genuine sympathy for her, and you can't, then you'll just need to tell her that. And if she refuses to accept it, then you'll have to tell her that she has to seek what she wants elsewhere.
 

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Well, I remember asking thoroughly when it happened a cousin of mine I lived with if something in me had changed, she said yeah.....that I seemed more mature or something..

My explanation is the kid in me and childish things went out with the spacing out. idk... but it's not clear enough that ppl assume something is off,..

I also know they way your face sits changes.
 

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No, people can't discern it from my behavior. I try to avoid mentioning it, either, because it's such an unrelatable problem, and mentioning it never leads to anything good.

If I somehow, regretfully, do end up mentioning it or the conversation organically somehow arrives at it, I've noticed people react in two ways:

1) they offer me some useless solution that I've tried a million times, such as "have you eaten properly?"
2) they actually *listen* to me and realize that they possibly can't relate without experiencing it themselves

Type 2 is incredibly rare.
 
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