There is no way that when you tell somebody something that nobody responds! That's impossible and your mind is making that up. Don't let ur mind lie to you. Don't believe what it is telling you.
Who says there has to be feeling behind what people say? Have you asked someone without dpdr if they have feelings behind things when they talk? Feelings are misleading anyway, as are thoughts. Don't believe ur thoughts.
i dont know, its wierd
like maybe ive always been kinda fucked up
but before this dp
i guess i kinda 'taught' myself how to speak with my emotions?
like if someone say something to me, i would always try to respond with what i was feeling, like try to speak from my heart all the time
or like i think thoughts would just pop up in my head and i would say that, like if someone asked
whats ur favorite color
something funny would pop up in my head, or id say something to like make it fun or something.. idk
like having a personality u kno lel
if someone asked that, id just say 'blue'
and thats it
i only say that cus thats the answer, nothing funny behind it, no feeling about what ive said
literally its like i cant focus? kinda?
like when someone is talking to me i literally have nothing to say, nothing pops up like it use to, i dont feel anything
so i just force talk, and its like people can sense im not being genuine or whatever that word is..
and now i 'taught' myself how to talk a certain way, like its so weird..
ive truly fucked myself up more
like when i say something i like do something at the end of my talking so it feels like i felt what i was saying
i dont know, its so weird
but when i do this 'thing' some people can talk back, most dont say anything
and when i talk without doing this thing
its like i really dont know what im saying, and i get no response back
like its weird man.. trying to get myself out of it
i can kinda relate with this 1 dude i talked to
he said, and its weird
but he says he never talks, and the times he does talk, its like in a different language
he could say like, 'dude my head hurts' and the person hes talking to will respond n say like ' dont get down on urself man, it'll be okay'
like something totally different what he was saying?
like that sounds super weird
but i feel like my shit is almost like that in a way
his problem, is wow, i wudnt know what to do with that
and idk how u got a PHD, i tried going back to school, i would spaz out in class, i couldnt consentrate, idk if i just suck ass at school but i couldnt retain the stuff i was studying
like literally id be in the class from 8 am to 2pm, then i would stay 2-3 hours after class learning and studying with friends
then id go home, do the homework, study the words, study the quiz, read, do everything
come back the next day, and BARELY pass the test, u would need a 80 percent, and i would get just that
most the time id fail and have to retake and then barely pass again
while others i talk to
dont study, literally read the chapter, and get an A
u kno its just not fare
and i think it has to do with the state of my mind
cus like i said, its hard to focus, i spaz out with anxiety
so idk man