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I was happy 18 year old boy I passed my final exams to pass to the university I was so anxious then and I didn't sleep too mush like 2h a day after finishing my exams I got back to sleep normally and everything was normal until one day I was with my friends and suddenly I felt a really weird feeling like I suddenly living in my head and I started thinking how do we speek how do we move and other existence question and everything started to feel really weird and I started too feel very anxious and scary after a while this feelings start to go and Obsession's were gone but I still felt weird whenever I go out I didn't give a shit about it but one day I was speaking with my mom and I suddenly felt like I don't know her and here I freaked out and started to obssess with the this idea and I felt and I started to search for it on the internet and I saw articles about ocd anxiety and schizophrenia and here I was really scary I thought I will have schizophrenia even though I don't have any of the symptoms and the n I started to get depersonalizated I felt like I see the world from my head like I don't know my family like everything is weird so I visited a doctor and he told me that I have depersonalization derealization and gave me clopiramine 10 mg i did take it for 2 days but i didn't want to take it anymore so i sent back to him and he gave me magnesium and calcium and adviced me to do sports so I did and I started to get better and better even there was times when I felt normal again because I forget that I have it and last week I was with my dad in the car and I was stirring at other cars and suddenly they felt like I'm dreaming like its a movie and the feeling of observing the world from my head is gone I felt really weird like everything is changed in size I didn't give a shit about it because I knew it's depersonalization but after a day I remembered schizophrenia and I started to think that I have it and I got really scared and my dp Dr got worse to the point that I don't know where I'm my family felt like strangers my house felt like it's the first time to see it I got a panic attack and I felt little bit better after it but the obsession that I have schizophrenia went back so I started to read about it and then I started to feel like I have it's symptoms even though i don't I'm always scared that I will see or hear things others can't afraid to look at TV because i read that people who have schizophrenia think that TV talks to them now i feel like i can'think, lightheaded , i can'think feel love sad anything , i strated to feel like there's really wrong with me i feel like i dont know anyone anything even myself even places feel like i dont know'em like my head is full with coton i feel like a zombie like i'm dead i can't cry it doesn't even bother me anymore i can't eat i dont feel that feeling that i felt first time when i had DP de first time i starter to feel like this my new réality and worse thing that my obsessions starting to feel real even tough that i don't have em i dont wanna do anything now i lost interest in everything my doctor told me that I don't have schizophrenia but obsessions didn't go he gave me clopiramine and depretine and stream so please tell me guys are those symptoms of dp Dr or other things or I'm getting schizophrenic or going crazy
 

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That's typical DP, my friend.

I was exactly like you when I was in the worst part of my DP, fortunately all those symptoms will pass once you learn how to control them. If you have a bad thought, or feeling just try to divert your attention elsewhere and ignore it. It's hard at first, but eventually it'll become easier and you'll feel SO much better. For months I was convinced I was going to become schizo, or something else, but after many weeks and months passing by, I learned that it's all in your head, and if you stop letting it bother you, it'll go away. When I was younger, I'd watch a scary movie, and then when I was going to bed, I thought every sound or shadow was a monster coming to get me, but in reality it was all in my head. I was just on edge after just being scared by the movie, so every thought in my head was that a monster was going to get me at any second. Eventually as minutes went on and no monster got me, I'd forget about it and fall asleep. I relate that to my DP and Schizo fears. When I was scared I was going schizo, every sound I heard I thought was a voice, or if I saw something out of the corner of my eye, I thought it was a hallucination, when in reality it was just my imagination fooling me because I was in a high state of anxiety, just like when I was a kid afraid of the "monster". Just like realizing the monster wasn't real, I realized I didn't have schizophrenia, I was only convincing myself I did. For now, it's best that you don't read anything about schizophrenia, and try to just let the thoughts pass by without dwelling on them for too long because it'll become a habit.
 

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This my friend is called "Dementophobia" it is a fear of becoming mentally ill or in my case it is a fear of my own reality . This phobia has costed me a lot in the last 6 months. It's to the point now that I can't even take any pills to help myself for fear that it will alter my reality to something even more scarier than it already is. Believe me when I tell you I absolutely know the pain you are going through right now just being awake is torture and you would do anything to go back to how you used to be and then you start to think about how back then you had no idea what these things were so you had no worries of them. Which then starts the cycle over again stay strong my friend and PM me anytime you need. Much love
 
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