[Mipmunk]

ok my DP is caused by overwhelming anxiety/trauma.

How do I stop the DP kicking in when one day I get a phone call to say one of my parents has died or something like that? How do I get upset and grieve without DP kicking in?

Can anyone help, this does concern me, because that is the sort of thing that would cause my DP.

Janine, you seem to have good knowledge, any ideas on how to cope and to stop the trigger into DP from happening?? Any thoughts/ideas would be greatly appreciated.

Mipmunk
xx

 

[Sojourner]

I would suggest becoming more comfortable with letting your feelings out (in an appropriate private location) so that when you experience the losses of life, which come to us all, you can stay in the present moment and truly feel your feelings -- without being afraid of them. It is the fear of the feelings that may be what brings on DP for you.

To become more comfortable with experiencing your feelings, you could find a qualified therapist or you could experiment privately with allowing some of your sadness to be expressed in a situation where you are the only person present.

Many times recently I have found that when I try and try and try to play something on the piano, and then I finally succeed, or if I am trying to create a nice melody or find a chord or something and I actually manage to do it, I just start crying. Those are tears of something or other -- joy, maybe? But it feels so good to let whatever it is out.

The same is true of when I think of my poor mother, who's lost to me but physically alive (Alzheimer's). She's not suffering, but her loved ones are, and sometimes the feelings just well up in me and I cry like a baby. It hurts so much, so terribly, and I used to avoid the tears because I didn't "want to wallow in feeling bad." But that's not at all what happens.

We know intellectually that we are going to lose every human being we know, provided that we don't die before they do. So, intellectually we accept the fact that death comes to all. But coming to terms with it means recognizing the way we are wired to FEEL about it. We hate it. It scares us; and our feelings about it scare us, too. But I have learned that avoiding the feelings is what causes psychic malfunctions. We are wired to cry and weep, to laugh and grin, to love and cherish. All of these are wired into our bodies because when they all work properly, they bring us health of mind and body.

So, back to the beginning: Find a way to become comfortable with feeling your feelings. It is most often an eye-opener to experience this life-changing thing in the presence of a professional who has lots of experience with helping people accept and express their feelings.

 

[Mipmunk]

Sojourner,

Thanks for your reply. The DP I have been suffering this time came on due to the fact that my cat was really ill. She went missing and I became terribly anxious and worried, she was missing 24 hours, I went looking for her and was crying and really upset. We then found her, she had fallen off a wall and was stuck between 2 garages, we got her out and took her to the vet, she was at the vet 24 hours, came home but was really ill and sick, we took her back and she died later than night. My DP trigger went before she died, I was letting my feelings out and crying and was most distressed, it was this trauma that caused my DP, my brain obviously overloaded, it is the "not being able to cope" with trauma that causes my DP. That is why I ask, when somebody dies, how do I cry and get upset without causing my DP to trigger....

Can anyone help?

Mipmunk
x :?

 

[Sojourner]

There is something about your own grief that scares you. You want to learn how to experience grief without panic. Grief will not kill you.

If you experience feelings of grief in the presence of another person, it is possible to not get DP and to deeply realize that the feelings of grief and DP do not need to go hand-in-hand.