[M A R S]

Im trying to get a grip on reality. I feel a bit better but intense fear is always on my mind.

My biggest problem is super awareness of my self. Like im alone in my mind. Can anyone relate to that?

I suffer from the feeling that im in a dreamlike state. What do some of you do to deal with that. Understand my Psych and my Dr. Will only give me buspar so i don't have the option of benzos to fall back on. Im kinda going it all alone.

I see a Psych and all i do is talk about my fears and how i freak out. It just seems impossible for me to even calm down in my sessions.

I spend 85% of my time in my room right now because i have been suffering with a slipped disk in my back.

I try to read books but my mind cant stay in one place so thats impossible. How do some of you all cope with that?

when i look at my anxiety objectively i can see why i have DP, i have not been able to work for over 10 years, i do have my own computer company but i only work when i want.

I have a $25,000 hospital bill that i cant pay and i have lawyers stalking me. Trying to take any money i have.

Im in massive debt over $45,000 total, so this is killing me. My wife and i have a hard time. We have no romance at all.

I have had massive loss and tragedy in my life. I also have suffered for years with fear of death. I then around the age of 21 began to become obsessed with the fear that i'm going crazy. Now i feel that im really crazy.

I just got a new cat and i feel like its not real, i feel almost noting for it, tho on some level i feel that i love it. Things seem so unreal then i feel unreal and it just goes around and around.

I just need this to stop. What is the best way some of you may know how WITH out the help of benzos to learn how to relax and deal with the issue of DP? I just keeps going with out any known triggers. its almost 24/7

 

[M A R S]

any thing?

 

[Martinelv]

OK mate, this is my advice. This is what I would do if it were me. First off, forget about all the terrible life event s**t that are happening to you. Debt, loss, regret, problems with your wife. Force them out of your head. When you are in this state you can't keep control of you own mind, let alone forces outside your control. So however terrible they may be, your best chance of getting them sorted is by getting, or starting to, getting yourself sorted first. If you don't, then you are just going to continue thrashing around in horror like you are now. Even if these life events are the cause of your DR/DP and everything else, it doesn't make a difference, not at the moment. So let them take a back seat. Look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you have no other choice. None at all. You are going to focus all your energy into combatting your immediate problem, and now. Believe me, when I had DR/DP, I had money problems, women problems, work problems, health problems, the lot, but, and you've got to believe this, they are insignificant in relation to your mental health. When you recover, I'd wager that you'll look back on your money..etc, problems and think, Jesus, what was I worrying about, at least I don't have DR/DP!!!! And THAT, is all that matters at the moment. And then you will breeze through sorting out these problems like swatting a fly.

Now, how to do this? How to get control again? Million dollar question and the main reason this board is here and people like Janine spend so much time here. Are you still taking drugs? Booze? If so, stop. Just do it. See above - you have no choice. And do it now, no excuses. I know you have addiction issues, but there are alternatives to Benzo's (and yes, we can hear you screaming for them), but if all else fails, then you've got to have them, at least for the time being. Go dribbling to your Doctor, take your wife with you and explain to him, and I mean really explain to him how this is destroying your life. If you've never cried in your life, then cry then. Don't plead, or beg (especially for benzo's, because if you do that then they won't give them to you), just make sure that he knows how screwed up you are. They must listen to you, instead of just giving you Buspirone which, on the evidence of most people on this forum, is worse than useless. You must ask for a referral to a psychiatrist for your addiction problems, your DR/DP. Do must do all this, and do it now.

We all know how you feel mate. We know the terrible hopelessness, the feeling like you've got a brain of LSD. We know, we've been there. So now is the time to sort it. Now. As for the rest, and where to go from there, I'm sure Janine, and others, will help.

Hang in there buddy.

 

[M A R S]

Thanks for the amazing advice! Im so terrified to even look at my self in the mirror, but i think i should try this.

Thanks again!