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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I've always this mild sense of detachment plus obsessions about symptoms I've read about mental illnesses (at the moment I freak out about paranoia and delusions which I try to imagine, sort of)...my question is: does excessive amount of thinking make you go insane? For example: it's 3 months that I think about paranoia and then I feel like I'm truly paranoid: here is a schematic representation of what's going on in my mind when I read a symptom: "Uhm...let's read this: paranoid schizophrenic people think everyone is out to get them...<intrusive thought> what if people are out to get me? <end of intrusive thought> Hey, I must not think about it, I may believe it if I think too much <intrusive thought> people are out to get me <end of intrusive thought> Damn! I've thought it without "what ifs" so I must really believe it, I don't want to believe it...uh-oh, I'm making myself going crazy!".
And of course, feel of detachment and emotionless typical of dp isn't helping :(
Anyone can relate? Thank you for your support!

Tau
 
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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
I've always this mild sense of detachment plus obsessions about symptoms I've read about mental illnesses (at the moment I freak out about paranoia and delusions which I try to imagine, sort of)...my question is: does excessive amount of thinking make you go insane? For example: it's 3 months that I think about paranoia and then I feel like I'm truly paranoid: here is a schematic representation of what's going on in my mind when I read a symptom: "Uhm...let's read this: paranoid schizophrenic people think everyone is out to get them...<intrusive thought> what if people are out to get me? <end of intrusive thought> Hey, I must not think about it, I may believe it if I think too much <intrusive thought> people are out to get me <end of intrusive thought> Damn! I've thought it without "what ifs" so I must really believe it, I don't want to believe it...uh-oh, I'm making myself going crazy!".
And of course, feel of detachment and emotionless typical of dp isn't helping :(
Anyone can relate? Thank you for your support!

Tau
 
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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Hi,

It's just obsessions, they are not make you paranoid. You are afraid too.

Real paranoid people doesn't search on the Net for symptoms.

Take care, you have nothing to worry about.

Cyn xxx
 
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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Hi,

It's just obsessions, they are not make you paranoid. You are afraid too.

Real paranoid people doesn't search on the Net for symptoms.

Take care, you have nothing to worry about.

Cyn xxx
 
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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
You poor thing. I can TOTALLY relate, as I did that to myself for decades.

No. You absolutely CANNOT make yourself become psychotic (insane). Not humanly possible.

HOWEVER.....here is what you CAN do: you can ingrain a habit of thinking about madness and of comparing how you think and feel against some unspoken "model of normalcy" and you can read up on mental symptoms and read words about psychotic states and continue to ponder it and worry about it and obsess over it until your entire life is NOTHING but those thoughts.

You can think about it and read about it and talk about it and seek reassurances about it until you reach a point that you have literally destroyed any life you might ever have had. And then you will turn around and try to change on a dime, and it will be too late. It will take you a VERY long time to change and to rebuild a sense of Self that is more than an obsessive ball of terror. It might even feel too hard to try to rebuild and you will slink deeper and deeper into more obsessions.

IF you had instead been "insane" it would have almost been better.

Turn yourself around NOW. Before it's becomes unbearably hard to stop.

Peace,
Janine
 
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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
You poor thing. I can TOTALLY relate, as I did that to myself for decades.

No. You absolutely CANNOT make yourself become psychotic (insane). Not humanly possible.

HOWEVER.....here is what you CAN do: you can ingrain a habit of thinking about madness and of comparing how you think and feel against some unspoken "model of normalcy" and you can read up on mental symptoms and read words about psychotic states and continue to ponder it and worry about it and obsess over it until your entire life is NOTHING but those thoughts.

You can think about it and read about it and talk about it and seek reassurances about it until you reach a point that you have literally destroyed any life you might ever have had. And then you will turn around and try to change on a dime, and it will be too late. It will take you a VERY long time to change and to rebuild a sense of Self that is more than an obsessive ball of terror. It might even feel too hard to try to rebuild and you will slink deeper and deeper into more obsessions.

IF you had instead been "insane" it would have almost been better.

Turn yourself around NOW. Before it's becomes unbearably hard to stop.

Peace,
Janine
 

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damn Janine, that sent a chill up my spine.
 

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damn Janine, that sent a chill up my spine.
 
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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
I agree with you, kenc127, but I'm also glad that Janine told me these things because now I've decided I'll never do searches again, I've already made myself a "walking symptom", now it's time to change.
I don't want to live with stupid thoughts of aliens, CIA, plots and crap like this (and without even being psychotic!); it's hard to do, as Janine said (I've had 3 years like this...I work,study and so on but it's horrible nonetheless), but I'm starting now, I hope I'll be successful. :D
 
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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
I agree with you, kenc127, but I'm also glad that Janine told me these things because now I've decided I'll never do searches again, I've already made myself a "walking symptom", now it's time to change.
I don't want to live with stupid thoughts of aliens, CIA, plots and crap like this (and without even being psychotic!); it's hard to do, as Janine said (I've had 3 years like this...I work,study and so on but it's horrible nonetheless), but I'm starting now, I hope I'll be successful. :D
 

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Hey Tau

Janine is right. You know what's funny? I never had a single abnormal paranoid thought until I read about schizo symptoms. I mean, I had/have typical narcissistic paranoid symptoms, but after reading about schizo I started hyper-focusing on myself to see if I had the symptoms. And of course, every new symptom I looked up, a few days later I would think that I had them. It is sad what we do to ourselves. As it says in Janine's book, "The solution requires distracting yourself long enough to let your consciousness re-weave a sense of identity." What she means is think and do anything but focus on symptoms. The very act of obsessing about symptoms and "what-ifs" is the very thing that makes us ill. Good stuff. You know what kinda freaks me out? I read a story of a man who went to the doc complaining of obsessional thinking. He didn't get it under control and the doc later gave his a diagnosis of schizo. Freaked me out like no other. Then the man's wife said, "If only he started treament earlier he'd be in a much better place." That story still freaks me out. You can't help but wonder.

Ken
 

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Hey Tau

Janine is right. You know what's funny? I never had a single abnormal paranoid thought until I read about schizo symptoms. I mean, I had/have typical narcissistic paranoid symptoms, but after reading about schizo I started hyper-focusing on myself to see if I had the symptoms. And of course, every new symptom I looked up, a few days later I would think that I had them. It is sad what we do to ourselves. As it says in Janine's book, "The solution requires distracting yourself long enough to let your consciousness re-weave a sense of identity." What she means is think and do anything but focus on symptoms. The very act of obsessing about symptoms and "what-ifs" is the very thing that makes us ill. Good stuff. You know what kinda freaks me out? I read a story of a man who went to the doc complaining of obsessional thinking. He didn't get it under control and the doc later gave his a diagnosis of schizo. Freaked me out like no other. Then the man's wife said, "If only he started treament earlier he'd be in a much better place." That story still freaks me out. You can't help but wonder.

Ken
 
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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
I have been obsessing all day. I drove my son to school and on the way there I was so on edge I felt like a policeman who was lookinng for the bad guy. I was so aware of everything and so hypervigilant that I was like a cop with one hand on my gun ready to shoot. I was overanalyzing everything. There were so many thoughts going through my head. The trees looked weird, the cars looked funny, I thought I was seeing things out of the corner of my eye. My vision felt funny. I was so on edge looking, waiting for something to pop out of the bushes so to speak at me. I keep asking myself why do I feel so off, why am I so on edge. I can't really even describe how I feel. But it feels shity, and scarey and I am so flipping sick of it. It is a viscious cycle of anxiety, and I am stuck in it. I guess we are all stuck in it and we need a way out. I have read so many books and tried so many things yet I am still in the grips of the worry fear cycle.
What's the answer?

Sassy :?
 
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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
I have been obsessing all day. I drove my son to school and on the way there I was so on edge I felt like a policeman who was lookinng for the bad guy. I was so aware of everything and so hypervigilant that I was like a cop with one hand on my gun ready to shoot. I was overanalyzing everything. There were so many thoughts going through my head. The trees looked weird, the cars looked funny, I thought I was seeing things out of the corner of my eye. My vision felt funny. I was so on edge looking, waiting for something to pop out of the bushes so to speak at me. I keep asking myself why do I feel so off, why am I so on edge. I can't really even describe how I feel. But it feels shity, and scarey and I am so flipping sick of it. It is a viscious cycle of anxiety, and I am stuck in it. I guess we are all stuck in it and we need a way out. I have read so many books and tried so many things yet I am still in the grips of the worry fear cycle.
What's the answer?

Sassy :?
 

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wow sassy you echo my issues exactly. The only things that that seem to work for me are crying, St. John's Wort and thinking about anything but what's going on in my head. Unfortunately the last thing is the most important step in healing, but it is the hardest. I think we can do it if we really work at it. Hopefully one day we'll get so sick of torturing ourselves that we just put our foot down and say 'no' to too much obsessing. Who knows anymore :( Hang in there, you're NOT alone.

Ken
 

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wow sassy you echo my issues exactly. The only things that that seem to work for me are crying, St. John's Wort and thinking about anything but what's going on in my head. Unfortunately the last thing is the most important step in healing, but it is the hardest. I think we can do it if we really work at it. Hopefully one day we'll get so sick of torturing ourselves that we just put our foot down and say 'no' to too much obsessing. Who knows anymore :( Hang in there, you're NOT alone.

Ken
 
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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
Okay, all Obsesso's, listen up: When you are feeling HORRIBLE, like Sassy describes, when the trees are creepy and there are nightmares lurking in the shadows, just do ANYthing to get through it. And what you each do is fine, it works..because somehow you manage to regain a sense of self again.

The WORK gets done, or NEEDS to get done, not in those times of abject horror, but the REST of the time. If you are paralyzed with terror, of COURSE you are going to obsess about it. Even I understand that, grin.

But...where you characters are killing yourselves is when you are NOT feeling horrible. That is the time when you do have a modicum of control over your own minds. Yet, do you FORCE yourselves to not think about self? no. you get on the damn internet and look up case studies of schizophrenics!

You spend time when you're feeling relatively strong trying to figure your illness out. You are SINKING yourselves right at those times. You'll do it and you'lll think "no, Janine is wrong...I thought about life/existence and my Self and reality and insanity and then I went to dinner and I was okay." Yeah, for now. But tomorrow when you start seeing faces in the trees, it's because of the self-obsessing you did the night before!

When you are feeling better, that is when you are damaging yourselves, because you spend those brief moments of strength staring at the mirror of questing - and you are laying the groundwork for the next tumble into the abyss.

Peace,
J
 
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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
Okay, all Obsesso's, listen up: When you are feeling HORRIBLE, like Sassy describes, when the trees are creepy and there are nightmares lurking in the shadows, just do ANYthing to get through it. And what you each do is fine, it works..because somehow you manage to regain a sense of self again.

The WORK gets done, or NEEDS to get done, not in those times of abject horror, but the REST of the time. If you are paralyzed with terror, of COURSE you are going to obsess about it. Even I understand that, grin.

But...where you characters are killing yourselves is when you are NOT feeling horrible. That is the time when you do have a modicum of control over your own minds. Yet, do you FORCE yourselves to not think about self? no. you get on the damn internet and look up case studies of schizophrenics!

You spend time when you're feeling relatively strong trying to figure your illness out. You are SINKING yourselves right at those times. You'll do it and you'lll think "no, Janine is wrong...I thought about life/existence and my Self and reality and insanity and then I went to dinner and I was okay." Yeah, for now. But tomorrow when you start seeing faces in the trees, it's because of the self-obsessing you did the night before!

When you are feeling better, that is when you are damaging yourselves, because you spend those brief moments of strength staring at the mirror of questing - and you are laying the groundwork for the next tumble into the abyss.

Peace,
J
 
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