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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm going crazy about this because what I read contradicts what I feel, so I'm thinking maybe I don't have DP but something a lot worse. This is really scaring me.

My DP (I'll call it that) started in 1999 new year's eve as it was close to midnight, and I wondered about it but I didn't really worry because it was so mild. I was fine through 2000. In 2001 I got my first panic attack which I've gotten a lot more since, after this my DP worsened notably. After some time it worsened again without an apparent reason. This year after I switched drugs it worsened again after I switched drugs, switching back didn't help.

All this time it hasn't gone better, only worse like this. Whenever it worsens, it does so permanently.
 

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Kroko said:
This year after I switched drugs it worsened again after I switched drugs, switching back didn't help.
Switching drugs can get it worst for sure, even just being on drugs in my opinion.
And yes DP/DR can be gradual if you don't do nothing to help yourself, it's like any other disease, untreated it can get bad.

I suggest you clear your mind out by seeing a GP and have some tests done to be sure that physically you're not ill.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Inflammed said:
I suggest you clear your mind out by seeing a GP and have some tests done to be sure that physically you're not ill.
Trust me when I say I've had many tests done and seen a lot of medical professionals...I've been in therapy all the time too.

About the drugs, like I said I switched them back and the remained worse.

Has anyone experienced what I described in the opening post? I need to know if anyone's been like that so I wouldn't be the only one. Or if anyone knows second-hand that it's a possibility with DP.
 
G

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yep.......large quantities of the mood stablizer Tegratol pushed me over the edge into chronic, acute levels of dp/dr and this was 6 months ago and I have yet to return. :shock:
 

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Kroko said:
Inflammed said:
Trust me when I say I've had many tests done .
Sorry I did not see you mentionning that.
And yes my DP got worst of the years...then it settled down abit.
And got even worst when I started using anti-depressant, and even worst with Benzodiazepine....
Now getting better since I take care of my body...
 

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The first episode I had began overnight and took a year to get rid of. The second episode, which I am still in, mounted for about 6 months before it reached bothersome and noticeable levels.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Inflammed said:
Sorry I did not see you mentionning that.
My bad.

Inflammed said:
And yes my DP got worst of the years...then it settled down abit.
And got even worst when I started using anti-depressant, and even worst with Benzodiazepine....
Now getting better since I take care of my body...
My doctor wants me to start taking beta blockers in addition to my current drug, Cipralex.
I used to exercise and eat healthy, I didn't feel my DP getting better though.
I can't stop thinking whether I really have DP or something worse, even though doctors have tried convincing me that it's nothing physical.

I'm not going through the greatest time of my life right now as my sister committed suicide on saturday.
 

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Kroko, I am so sorry to hear that. You are really brave - life must be really tough right now but hang in there! Don't worry about what your diagnosis is - I'm sure you don't have anything worse than dp.

As for drugs making dp worse - its a really difficult one because we'll never know for sure if it wasn't about to get worse anyway. Cipramil worked for me a few years back and this year when I took it I immediately fell into an abyss that was v. difficult to get back out of. But I was due it, I think. Everybody's different though, anyone reading this on Cipramil/Celexa - it is very effective for lots of people so don't panic!
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Thanks, g-funk.

My main concern is not really if the drug worsened my DP, but if I'm the only one who's like this: since 2000 when my DP started mild I have had constant DP, and it has worsened in steps at a time.

It's like I'm on a staircase of DP. In 1999 and before that I was on top of it where things were good. In 2000 I took one step down, and stayed there. In 2001 I took another step down, and stayed there. I took a second step down in the same year, once again, staying there. My next two steps down were somewhere in 2002-2003, and my latest this year. I have not taken a step up during this time, although sometimes my DP does get worse and returns to what it was, like when I get a panic attack my DP is worse than when I'm stable. Anyway, whenever I take a step down it seems that I wake up one morning and notice my DP has gone worse, and it stays that way.

I hope this analogy clarified the situation.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Bumping up the topic because I worry so much about it...I hope someone who can relate reads my analogy. :?
 

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At the moment that's just how I feel. I'm getting really miserable about it, I'm not depressed, just really sad that I don't feel like I can ever be sane. Feels like trying to change your mind half way through a bungee jump, like control is not just hard but unthinkable, will never be possible, like you can only go down and there won't be an up (ok, so bungee jump was wrong analogy, but just jumping off things has all the wrong connotations. What it actually feels like is taking a bad bad pill of some kind, changing your mind, but knowing that the worst of the trip's yet to come, and that it won't end).

Enough of that. I'm posting because that's how I feel, but I have gone up before. I've been so normal before, recently. I've felt almost as if I never had this, just a few months ago. So upwards is possible. From reading other people's posts it sounds like complete recovery is possible, although I can't imagine that right now there's no reason to imagine they're just making it up. I'm having cognitive therapy, but not for a few weeks yet, and I can't wait. That's what started this actually, for me. Thinking about getting better made me even more frustrated with feeling like this now. Strange thing is I can't remember if I've felt like this for three weeks or so or if it started yesterday, losing my references. Feel really shit. I'm rambling now. The end. The overall tone was supposed to be upbeat.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Beth, how long did it take until you first started recovering?

And my big question remains, has anyone else had DP last for years, worsening at a rate of around twice a year in sudden steps where you wake up and your DP is worse and stays that way and months, maybe even years of going through this worsened DP you wake up and notice your DP has worsened yet again and it really stays worse? I know people can have DP for years, that's not what I'm questioning. I guess no one understands, none of you have gone through what I've tried to explain here. :cry:
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
A desperate bump of topic!

I'm sorry I'm doing this, I'll try to stop before my topic gets deleted, I'm just so desperate. :cry:
 

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Hi Kroko,

I believe what you are saying is that your dp just gets worse and worse during the course of a year at times. Could you have seasonal depression that makes your dp worse at certain times of the year? Then I also think you are saying you have periods where it can be a year of bad dp and just when you think it can't get any worse, it does. Am I reading your post right?

Just want to help you in your battle to find some answers.

terri*
 

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Hi,

When I was taking benzos my dp slowly got worse over a period of months, probably from the progression of tolerance. Ive also read that benzos slow the output of serotonin and over time slowly deplete the levels. Im a believer that imbalanced serotonin is largely involved in depression, anxiety and dp.

Joe
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
terri* said:
Hi Kroko,

I believe what you are saying is that your dp just gets worse and worse during the course of a year at times. Could you have seasonal depression that makes your dp worse at certain times of the year? Then I also think you are saying you have periods where it can be a year of bad dp and just when you think it can't get any worse, it does. Am I reading your post right?

Just want to help you in your battle to find some answers.

terri*
Firstly, thanks for trying to understand me.

So far I've never had depression, just anxiety and panic and agoraphobia and DP, of which the DP started first, and none of this depends on the season. The DP started in 2000, it has worsened every now and then and whenever it worsens it does so permanently and there's no going back to having less DP. So over the course of these few years from 2000 to today, my DP has begun (in 2000, or maybe 1999...I know it was new year's eve or new year's day) and worsened about five times. Whenever the DP worsens a notch, I continue my life with worsened DP. Then some day it worsens again, and I continue my life with worse worsened DP. Whenever the DP worsens a notch, it happens suddenly, I just wake up and bam.

In 2001 I started being worried about it, thinking I have a physical condition. Doctors haven't found anything though, I've been in a brain scan and blood tests and stuff.

Please ask more if you're confused, I really want someone to understand.
 
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