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Am I alone with any of this? I feel fucking bonkers and ain't got anyone who's dealing with the same shit.

I feel like I'm in a dream, but now terrified and lost in my mind about certain things such as eternity, what was before the Big Bang? If there is a god what was before him? After death what's happens? If nothing happens, nothing is still something? How is eternity possible?, I can't handle the intrusive thoughts about the unknown. it don't feel real at all, what even is "real"?

Everyone keeps telling me to just live my life, but it's kinds hard to live my life when I feel trapped inside the earth and life is the very thing that's giving me panic!
 

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When I was 8 years old I had the exact same thoughts, lol. I would constantly think of what happened before the big bang, and I would try to imagine the thought of "nothing" and it'd always hurt my brain because when there's nothing there's still "something". If I was you I'd try just think about something else before you go more and more into the downward spiral. We can only theorize what happened before the big bang, but we can't actually confirm it, so it's best to just try to move on from those thoughts.
 

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Knowing there are people working to solve the mysteries of the universe, allows me to relax and pursue life's pleasures.

I know it is not easy for you, so thanks!

I did figure out how the universe came into existence out of nothing.. The universe was separated into equal parts

of matter, and anti matter. Sort of like....start with zero, and realize that 0 is the sum of+4 added to -4.

Just be careful to keep the matter and anti matter separated, or you're back to zero. I'm pretty sure that is what is happening

beyond a black hole's event horizon. But, hey! That's someone else's concern, and not mine.
 

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Knowing there are people working to solve the mysteries of the universe, allows me to relax and pursue life's pleasures.
I know it is not easy for you, so thanks!
I did figure out how the universe came into existence out of nothing.. The universe was separated into equal parts
of matter, and anti matter. Sort of like....start with zero, and realize that 0 is the sum of+4 added to -4.
Just be careful to keep the matter and anti matter separated, or you're back to zero. I'm pretty sure that is what is happening
beyond a black hole's event horizon. But, hey! That's someone else's concern, and not mine.
I'm pretty sure every kid has asked this. I did when I was little. There's no satisfactory answer to it because it's outside of human understanding. And that's okay. But you have to have a sense of self as a human to get that. For a long time I did not. But as my DP faded, I realized that these questions, while interesting to think about, simply don't matter.

Re: OP -

These are all completely normal DP thoughts and people without DP think about them. The difference is people with DP obsess over them. For me the only thing that made these thoughts less bothersome was time. I think anti-anxiety medicine and/or SSRIs would have helped me but I didn't want to let my parents know what was going on.
 
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