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Brain and body gone... Scared

1138 Views 7 Replies 4 Participants Last post by  Chip1021
Hi I've no idea what is going on I do not feel human at all. I'm not a part of the world or life around me. I am locked away in a dark box in another realm... I can see and hear but don't understand how as I can't sense my body at all, like how can I see with no eyes.

My time perception is gone all days are the same just endless suffering sitting here every day no thoughts or feelings only horrified. I don't feel the weather or seasons, or days or months. Nothing makes sense at all. Nothing looks real.

I can't sense my head or body, I see them but there is no sense of having a physical body. Don't know how I am typing. When I walk I can't feel my legs moving or if they are even there. When I walk my brain don't understand how things are moving past me as I move it's so crazy I can't stand it at all.

I turn my head I don't feel my muscles move or stretch, can't feel my eyes or if they are moving, my vision is bad visual snow, extreme tinnitus and buzzing noises that make me want to chop my head off, want to die all the time but terrorfied of dying but living like this is terrorfying also.

I don't sense hunger or thirst sensations, barely sweat, brain and nervous is destroyed. This all happend from antidepressants reactions but Dr's won't admit it. Keep saying it's anxiety and giving more pills and ruins me more.

I'm sure I'm going to be stuck this way til I'm dead. I had akathisa also.

When I wake up I hear my thoughts random words and phrases, images in my head extremely confusing. I never feel tired at night just fall asleep without being tired then have vivid dreams and nightmares more real than waking life.

I don't know what the fuck to do it's been 4 years now nothing changes. If I had not taken antidepressants I would still be a human ffs.
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These kinds of posts piss me off so much. I’m terribly sorry you had to endure all that. I can relate.
It is hell sorry if you suffering too? Can't believe I am stuck like this trapped inside my mind and body
It just pisses me off that psychiatry never takes a damn ounce of responsibility for any of the damage it does. All their iatrogenic harm is interpreted as just your mental illness acting up again. Or some “side effect” that you must cope with on your journey to mental health. No pain, no gain, right?

And yes, I’m suffering tremendously too.
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I hate this too. Once I had clear withdrawal symptoms after stopping an SSRI treatment that lasted 4 days only. They thought it wasn't possible, and that it was "most probably the symptoms of depression/anxiety that were coming back". But I'm not stupid, I did not have these symptoms before taking the medication. I had never had something like this, with brain zaps in the middle of the day. And somehow that depression/anxiety coming back lasted only a few days too, how strange....
So they don't trust what I say, they don't listen to me, plus apparently that thing is unusual (withdrawal after just a few days) so maybe I am sensitive to something, maybe it's something that should be taken into account for the future and if they don't believe what I say they are not going to take it into account, not for me, not for future patients who might have something similar. And if they don't listen to my input, why should I trust their conclusions? And then they complain that people go on the internet to find information instead of trusting them.... Sorry I had to vent a little.
Hey, vent away! With all the disagreements we have had (and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed those discussions with you), I agree with you 100% here. Especially that last part about psychiatrists (and doctors in general) complaining so much about people seeking answers with Dr. Google. Granted, I’m sure they get tired of patients coming to them with absurd ideas about their symptoms, but I think doctors have collectively responded to that frustration by failing to listen to their patients at all and cementing their strict adherence to the guidelines of their medical organizations. I think this was a huge impediment with the diagnosis and treatment of Lyme disease, for example. People got sick, were treated, but remained sick and then told remaining symptoms were all in their head, then they got angry and protested, which then led ID doctors to become even more ideological in their assessments. Only now, after many years are we discovering that tick-borne illness is a hell of a lot more complicated than we had originally thought.

Part of the problem has to do with the economics of healthcare and “Evidence-Based Medicine,” but that’s a topic for another day or another forum.
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