I've been struggling a lot with blank mind lately. In the beginning of my DP (earlier this year) I still had the cognitive ability to reflect and have an inner dialogue about the symtoms. Despite of my symtoms I felt a sense of purpose, since I had a meta-state where I was able to connect the dots and obtain knowledge that I felt would support my recovery. Things made sense, and I could easily challenge irrational thoughts with a kind and educated inner voice.
Even though I've had a positive approach to this, stayed away from drugs and made serious efforts to recovery - I'm experiencing my consciousness "shrink" more and more. I no longer feel I have the tools as I previously had and things are becoming more flat.
I have a hard time grasping even the most simple concepts or problem solving. I no longer have the meta-state where I'm able to analyse and reflect on my symtoms. When I start a sentence I barely have an idea of how to end it, and I kind of make it up as I go. And if I ever have an idea, my short term memory is so compromised that I'll probably forget about it while pronouncing the sentence, haha. I have a harder time explaining my symtoms to doctors, and I kind of just read old notes with lists of symtoms I've found in my phone.
The upside is that I never experience negative ruminating, catastrophising or intrusive thoughts. I very rarely experience anxiety. The downside is, well, I am pretty much vegatable (that still is able to write essays about her symtoms. Oh what a preciously complex and irrational state this is)
Do you guys know why my symtoms get worse even though I've tried to have a positive and productive approach?
Or anyone that went through this phase before?
Lots of love