Hi all - thanks for this thread. I'm not too active on here but do check for new posts. This thread resonates with me a lot too. I'm a 36 year old male who had a really bad reaction back in summer of 2019 to a THC vape pen and it disconnected me from my reality. I was taking Fluoxetine 2 months after the incident as I had no idea about DPDR so assumed it was just severe anxiety I was experiencing. The medication helped limit the anxiety more or less instantly. I then hit a therapeutic level with the medication about 6 months later when I felt anxiety free and was so much happier in my mood.
I decided to taper off the Fluoxetine 9 months after I started them (July 2020), because I felt I no longer needed them/wanted to rely on them and hoped to return to my former self as I felt they were restricting me emotionally (but not completely restricting me). It wasn't until about 1-2 months after stopping that I realised I was left emotionally void and that's when I started searching for answers and stumbled across DPDR.
Since then I've just been trying to ride it out in the hope my emotions would return but they haven't. They have actually become more muted/numb since then.
What is strange to me is I can't even experience being drunk like I used to. Alcohol used to alleviate any anxiety I had but since I no longer can experience anxiety, I now just feel the physical effects of alcohol and none of the emotional triggering aspects of it.
I have been reluctant to try medication again as it would involve me having to tell my wife what I am experiencing and I don't want to burden her with this because even if she knew then there's nothing she can do to help it improve. I'd rather her be blissfully unaware and continue with life normally.
But I am getting to that point where I see no alternative but to try medication again. The Fluoxetine obviously helped before but I don't know whether that had any indirect effect in leading to this emotional numbness as I know SSRIs can numb people whilst they're on it.
The other medication I've read up on to support DPDR sufferers who's main symptom is numbing and that is Clomipramine. I'm hesitant because it's one of the least tolerated antidepressants but once you get past the initial side effects it can be a positive treatment.
I'm interested to know what has helped you the most @Kittymoo
What medications have you tried @Numbed
I'm also just considering trying Wellbutrin or even trying a more tolerated SSRI as perhaps this is just a depression rather than classic DPDR?! I don't feel as though I suffer from Derealization ever since that initial onset which went away after the Fluoxetine treatment.
My motivation and concentration is seriously flawed now as is my memory to a degree. I have no nostalgia about happy memories and songs don't take me back to mememories either.
What is interesting is that I did have those abilities whilst I was on the Fluoxetine. So I'm not sure whether the numbness has slowly come on as a result of the DPDR process after the vape pen, or ever since coming off of the medication.
Very confused as what to do, and there isn't a lot of specific information on recovery pages just for those recovered from emotional numbness.
Anyway good to reach out to others in a similar boat.