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Guest
·I had a DR episode that lasted 7 years. After that, it subsided for 8 years. It came back out of the blue 2 months ago. I've experienced the standard treasure trove of symptoms, but this time around I've got a few new observations that are utterly mind-boggling.
The part of my mind in charge of answering the question "How bad is my DR today?" doesn't seem to be working. I can't seem to determine my current level of dysfunction, which in and of itself is pretty dysfunctional.
On different days, I seem to lose specific "normal" abilities. For example, today I can't feel anticipation for the future. I know that time is passing, but I seem to have "temporal denial". I used to feel differently about the passage of time. I know it sounds wierd. It's hard to explain.
My latest nemesis is flouresent lights. They're had to avoid. Believe me, I've tried.
Sleeping a full 8-hour night is not a good idea for me, as it usually leads to a DR-filled day. Stress actually keeps the DR at bay. This means that I need to deprive myself of sleep and fill my life with anxiety in order to prevent the really bad DR manifestations. Not a healthy way to go, I know.
My concentration is shot on bad DR days. I can't see the "big picture" of a problem I'm working on. It's like trying to put together a jigsaw puzzle while looking through a straw.
Probably the most disturbing feeling I periodically lose is the ability to feel that I want to get better. This sounds alsolutely crazy, since I hate the DR with every functioning fiber of my being. However, the capacity to feel desire is a mental function that is fair game for DR to snuff out. Ironic, huh?
I haven't returned to the shrink yet, since I never had much luck with meds. I haven't ruled out pathologies more nefarious than DR, and I could be expreienceing a generous helping of denial, too.
When I first had DR in 1991, I couldn't find a shrink who even heard of DR. It's good to have the Internet and this site this time around.
The part of my mind in charge of answering the question "How bad is my DR today?" doesn't seem to be working. I can't seem to determine my current level of dysfunction, which in and of itself is pretty dysfunctional.
On different days, I seem to lose specific "normal" abilities. For example, today I can't feel anticipation for the future. I know that time is passing, but I seem to have "temporal denial". I used to feel differently about the passage of time. I know it sounds wierd. It's hard to explain.
My latest nemesis is flouresent lights. They're had to avoid. Believe me, I've tried.
Sleeping a full 8-hour night is not a good idea for me, as it usually leads to a DR-filled day. Stress actually keeps the DR at bay. This means that I need to deprive myself of sleep and fill my life with anxiety in order to prevent the really bad DR manifestations. Not a healthy way to go, I know.
My concentration is shot on bad DR days. I can't see the "big picture" of a problem I'm working on. It's like trying to put together a jigsaw puzzle while looking through a straw.
Probably the most disturbing feeling I periodically lose is the ability to feel that I want to get better. This sounds alsolutely crazy, since I hate the DR with every functioning fiber of my being. However, the capacity to feel desire is a mental function that is fair game for DR to snuff out. Ironic, huh?
I haven't returned to the shrink yet, since I never had much luck with meds. I haven't ruled out pathologies more nefarious than DR, and I could be expreienceing a generous helping of denial, too.
When I first had DR in 1991, I couldn't find a shrink who even heard of DR. It's good to have the Internet and this site this time around.
