Wow, you described exactly my deepest fear regarding the chance of becoming DR-free. I feel in that case, if the icy wall melted completely away, I would have nobody to talk to how good I would feel, finally being alive again.Wendy said:I tried to describe it to my therapist as standing in the desert, as a small child, all alone, with no life there, calling out if there is anyone there. And then I call, and there is noone there.
Reminds me of the Shawshank quote 'institutionalized'. I have moments of total isolation, but most of the time I feel surrounded by people who care...and there is a connection. We really need to stop believing we are the only ones who feel this way. All of my friends are lonely to a certain extent and we need to share the humanity with them.I prefer this icy wall, instead of getting rid of it.
Hi Wendy, I really am not sure about it... I have sometimes thought about one imaginary situation: me standing in the edge of a cliff, and someone asking me to grab her/his hand. If I choose to accept the call and the welcome back to life, my DR would disappear and I would be alive again, but if I don't, I have to jump off the cliff and die.Wendy said:What would happen if there was someone to hear my call?
Would I accept it? -- So the question is, if its ok to ask: what would happen with you Really (or what do you expect to happen with you) if you actually DO get the welcome?
And that is exactly why talk therapy is bullshit.We feel like we know what to say and do, as if we know the things this person WOULD say and do if she/he was still inside us. So we retain WHO the person is, knowledge-wise. What's missing is the self's SENSE of self, the ability to FEEL one's own identity.