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being blamed for parents illness

2078 Views 14 Replies 5 Participants Last post by  jc
my dad had a heart attack a couple of years back and now everytime my dad is in pain or feeling depresed my mum tells me its all my fault ,i dont know how to deal with this i feel its totally unfair...ive spent most of the past two years doing everything for him and now his suffering is supposedly all my fault...i cant handle this,can anyone advise

all the best
a very low
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jc, I am sorry you are having this burden put on you. It is wrong for your family to put this on you. I recently posted that my dad died and I was not wanted by any of the family, I went privately to say my goodbyes. I, like you was blamed for many things that I did not do. My illness they said was hard on the family. I felt terrible inside, I thought god I did not ask to be ill, I tried for years to please this family over and over again and the sad part is I became sicker trying. I finally realized after my father's death that I did the best I could for my family and I could do no more. I know in my heart what kind of a person I am. I will no longer listen the constant put downs of what I did and did not do right. We are only human also. I believe if you are kind to others and you do your best then you have nothing to feel bad about. It is so easy for people to blame others when they are upset. If they would just take a moment and look within their own soul and see that you are their son they should be giving you respect and love not ridicule. jc, the best thing I can say to you is you know who you are and what kind of person you are, and that is all that matters. You cannot please everyone, live your life and put you first, you have to, you are important and the what is most important here is that you know you are not to blame. Please try not to be hard on yourself, I am trying my best now to go through the grieving process and not blame myself and yes it is hard but I know my heart is a good one and that will help me get through this painful time.

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