[stickdude]

i probably sound like a lunatic, but i keep having these anxious thoughts that one day i will be a serial killer. i however do not and would never want to hurt a single person. i keep thinking this because of tons of anxiety, social anxiety, and depression and one day maybe i'll just "snap" or something. im also a quiet person and think too much. i usually think this when i'm alone. when im out with others, i'm fine.

does anyone else think this way? or do i have dissassociative identity disorder and it's my other half thinking this way or something.

 

[sleepingbeauty]

youre obsessing. thats all it is. at least from what you say. cause you claim to not want to hurt anyone. but there are alot of people on this site that are borderline psychopaths. me included. its the whole fine line thing between genius and insanity. sometimes that line gets blurred. when you add obssessive thoughts it just makes you think about it more, and the more you think about it the more you will think youre gonna do it, even though you are afraid to death of the thought of it.

but the real serious serial killers are usually so numb to the thought of death and actually enjoy seeing the pain of others. it fullfills their sick desires to dominate and control another person, to the point of taking their life. if you were really gonna go out and kill people.. the desire to do so would be extremely strong, to the point where your conscience doenst even exist.

i used to think this all the time, until reality slaps me in the face and i realise.. "oh thats why!" like for instance i thought for a long time that i was a cannibal, because everytime i would turn on the operation show with all the blood and guts everywhere my mouth would start to water. this really freaked me out for so long i thought i was some kind of monster. until one day it hit me.. the reason im salivating is because im about to throw up! DUH!!! :roll: im squeemish, not hungry!! but obsessing about it instead of thinking logically about it, i had convinced myself that i was some kind of abomination.

you have to start telling these thoughts to take a hike. start recognizing the obsessive thought pattern, and put a stop to it as soon as you think it. even if you have to stamp your feet and shout out loud "AHHHYOUMUTHERFUCKINCUNTSONOFABITCHSHUTTHEFUCKUUUUUUUUUUUP!!!" :x do it! do whatever it takes to snuff it out. cause all you are doing is making yourself mentally exausted, and physically sick. whatever you do dont sit there and obsess over it. turn off forensic files for a little bit and go for a run, breathe the fresh air. thats a good technique as well. deep deep fresh breaths.

get a book on basic meditation. it really helps to calm the raging winds of your mind. you have to focus on one thing, something that warms you and lifts your spirit. you cant think about anything else, just that one thing. focus on your breathing as you take deep long slow breaths. with each breath in your inhale the good energys while keeping this mental image fresh in your mind, and as you blow out, you blow out all the negative thoughts and energies. the longer you do it the better you will feel.

the whole point of all this is to stop those thoughts as soon as they start. because they arent real. they are a demons trying to poison you. and the more you buy into it, the more they succeed. remember that YOU are in control of yourself. YOU are NOT out of control.. YOU are NOT a serial killer nore will you ever be. and if those thoughts creep back in which they will all the time.. you must banish them back to the pits of hell.

(disclaimer.. im not religious.. but im just suggesting a stragedy that may help. good luck whatevers ) 8)

 

[Guest]

I've thought the same thing, just for the fact that we're often, empty, disturbed, emotionless, like most seriel killers we've heard about. Don't get be wrong, I hate people, but i'd sooner kill myself than another human being.

 

[Guest]

man this is something I actually fear as well. Like one day I will just snap. Sometimes I feel violent but never to the point where i would want to kill someone. Im with Ziggomatix on this one, i'd rather kill myself. The thing is like i am one of the least violent people. I think ive been in maybe two fights in my life. I just don't like violence, no matter how much shit that I talk. Everyone who knows me, knows that I have a long fuse and am laid back, but I still do get mad and feel anger. I don't even like to kill insects and stuff like that to be honest. Sometimes though my cat will bother me, like the other night I was sleeping and it came into my room ( which is does often and I usually don't mind) but for some reason it bothered me, So I picked it up and tossed it down my stairs. Like i didn't throw it and i was trying to hurt it, but i was trying to fall asleep. And obviously cats are very agile and shit, so it didn't get hurt or anything, and i felt kind of bad after so I had to go make sure it was ok.

But yeah man i dunno, its like a fear of mine is going insane and becomming some serial killer. The weird thing is like If i see something on TV about them, I usually watch it ( i have no idea why) and than afterwards i obsess on the fact that I am going to snap at any moment.

I dunno

 

[jc]

i get intrusive thoughts about harming my neices and nephews,or im gonna stab my mum and dad...

im being totally graphic and upfront with these thoughts because thats all they are just stupid intrusive thoughts...they upset the fuck out of me but try not to let them bother you,its the damn anxiety,i really dont understand why i get these thoughts but any book on anxiety will tell you that most people with anxiety problems get these horrid thoughts,they pass if you ignore them

 

[enngirl5]

It's just the anxiety. We conjer up the scariest thoughts we can think of then feel crazy for thinking them. I've read this many many times of people with anxiety disorders fearing they're gonna hurt their loved ones or murder someone or something else equally scary. Try to relax and learn to trust yourself and know that anxiety won't cause you to do anything you wouldn't do without the anxiety.

 

[Guest]

From what I know most serial killers, from an early age, were obsessed with fire, and torturing and killing animals.

You don't have either of these interests, do you?

I also have anxious thoughts that I'll go crazy and do something horrible. I've never worried that I would become a serial killer but I have worried that I would become a horrible person in other ways.

 

[jc]

the trouble is these are just fleeting thoughts that would otherwise go unoticed but because we are holed up in an anxious state we fixate on them and they stick like glue

 

[Guest]

From what I know most serial killers, from an early age, were obsessed with fire, and torturing and killing animals.

Well, lets see. I was born a pyromaniac (not arsonist) and believe its a worthwhile hobby. I've also staged massive gladitorial style insect wars. Put dozens of species of insect/arachnid/whatever in a fishtank and watch who wins. Sadistic - yes. Evil - yes. Future serial killer - no. As far as rape, i'm still debating it. My seriel rapist theme will be: attractive women....oh and god told me to do it.

 

[Guest]

Z, I don't think bugs count. I killed ants for most of my childhood in infinitely varied ways.

I think it has to be a warm fuzzy mammal to bump you over to the serial killer camp.

 

[stickdude]

From what I know most serial killers, from an early age, were obsessed with fire, and torturing and killing animals.

You don't have either of these interests, do you?

I also have anxious thoughts that I'll go crazy and do something horrible. I've never worried that I would become a serial killer but I have worried that I would become a horrible person in other ways.

i've always liked fire, but not really obsessed. torturing animals i would never do. my friend threw a small black pouch thingy with little beads inside at this donkey the other day and i'm just like what are you doing man.

and yeah i agree with you soulbrotha, i'd take my life over someone elses

 

[sleepingbeauty]

now this is one chick you wouldnt be able to rape ziggo. ive gotten into a fist fight with a 300 lb bouncer, ive made a marine cry(that was kinda funny actually.. what a wimp!), my ex was psycho so whenever wed fight he would usually win, but when i was 12 i won my dad in a wrestling match, my dad was twice my size, but i got his arms pinned and there was nothing he could do, i even shoved a sticky gack ball covered in cat hair in his mouth. lol. :lol: i have no idea why im sharing this info.. i guess cause when i hear a guy talking about dominating women, it makes me laugh because i actually like the challenge. ive been in so many fights with men its not even funny. i usually lose but i dont feel sorry for myself. i just get pissed that i lost! i think that woman should try to get over that victim mentality and realise that men arent really that strong, its mostly just for show. we can be just as strong and intimidating. and besides its really easy to pull a guys nuts off, they are so vulnerable. :lol:

im sorry im just not scared of boys, and i dont think it nessisarily means im psycho, it means im not a moron. 8)

 

[Guest]

I like to joke about rape, abortion, all that funny stuff. I dated a girl who was into all that s & m garbage (no offense) and the whole idea of anyone getting off to that sort of thing really makes no sense. I AM concentrated fury though and i'm pretty sure I haven't found my match yet because if provoked, i just flip out (like a psycho). I also watch too many kung-fu movies so someone expects the typical american brawl (run into each other, fall down, roll around and give each other stupid wrestling holds) i'll give them a calculated attack. 8)

its really easy to pull a guys nuts off, they are so vulnerable.

 

[sleepingbeauty]

yea and plus if a guy wants to rape you.. he has to expose his nuts. :twisted:

(disclaimer... sleepys is not a nut-hater, nore has she ever even come close to hurting any. actually sleepy is very fond of them in a fondling sort of way.)

 

[Guest]

First I would stalk you through the woods like creeping donkey

and use my myriad of mystical attacks to beat you into submission (goddamn i hate Tie Domi)

But eventually, in my whirlwind of constantly changing attacks, I will leave myself vulnerable for a nut-tearing-off

Its all good though, i'll just bounce back like always, and go get me some new testicles at wal-mart

 

[Guest]

As far as rape, i'm still debating it. My seriel rapist theme will be: attractive women....oh and god told me to do it.

I like to joke about rape

Listen Ziggomatix, this is not something to make fun of. You are OUT of line. Im confronted DAILY with people who have been the victim of rape. I wonder why the hell people saying these things is allowed on this board?

 

[Guest]

Please. My empathy for those people is very high. I really doubt you've been around this kind of wit before, because the nature of my humor is generally a reflection on how cruel and absurd life is. I joke about disease, rape, murder, disability, because it allows me (and many others) to laugh off these seriously depressing aspects of life. I will tone things down for your sake, I admit i got carried away, but seriously, you're reaction was much more inappropriate than my comments.

 

[Dreamer]

Zig,

I haven't been raped and don't know anyone personally who has been, but as a woman I have to agree w/Wendy that a good number of your comments in this thread took me aback as well.

As I always say, part of this is due to internet anonymity, and yes, there is freedom of speech which I wholeheartedly subscribe to. However my litmus test is, would you say these things, in person, say at work, at a party, etc.?

It does hurt people to hear these things. Or, I feel at minimum uncomfortable.

Just my 2 cents.

Best,
D

 

[Guest]

Totally agree with Wendy here.
Modoraters please condiser deleting this so called joke.

I realise Zig that you probably didn't think of rape as such an
emotive issue but believe me it is and with good reason.

Also that friend who treated the dog in such a disgusting way...........who needs friends like that?That guy needs a dose of he's own treatment.

Shelly

 

[sleepingbeauty]

in the oh so slightest defense of ziggo, i think its ok to bring up dialogue on these issues even if its in a sarcastic way. he just made a joke, maybe it wasnt totally pollitically correct, but i dont think it was offensive. its been a year and a half since i was raped. sure i was a victim, and im mad as hell about it, but im not going to let that experience consume the rest of the life i have left. and even though what happened to me was horrible, i still have not lost my empathy. thats something that pighunter icehead couldnt take from me. my compassion even for him. i could regard him as the primordial putrid scum of the earth, and i have many times. ive also planned very elaborately how to exact my revenge. not to go into detail, but abugrab has nothing on me! and the end result would have been splattered hamburger from a nice shotgun blast to his nether regions.

but i have to forgive him. not for his own sake.. but for mine. hes a sick person. thats all. and i cant spend my life being angry and hateful, i have to continue to grow and part of that growth is forgiveness and the willingness to understand. even when there is nothing there to understand.

yes its difficult to understand the mind of a rapist. of course the first thought is,,, why would you want to?? but then again.. why would someone want to understand mental illness?

i think making light of serious situations is not always appropriate, but sometimes its an easy way to create some kind of dialogue. at least, thats what i tried to do with it, maybe no one read my post... but what i was trying to say is that there is no harm in not PLAYING the role of the victim when those situations arise. for instance.. i dont like to talk about my rape experience because its something i want to forget.. but i also am not embarassed by it.. because even though i was victimized, and those scars may never heal.. i can be proud of the thought that i left some pretty nice scars on him that will be there forever, and whenever he looks in the mirror he will remember it. and he will always regret that he let me live. because now he knows he chose the wrong b!tch to mess with, cause i was crazy enough to take a few chunks out of him.. who knows what ill do to him when i see him again. and hell always have that thought in the back of his mind.

point is we dont HAVE to be the VICTIM. we can be just as intimidating and just as powerful and just as dangerous no matter how petite and fragile we look. we CAN stick up for ourselves. men are fragile too. so it pays to be prepared for it. there are kookoos out there just waiting to pounce on a hot available chick, and no ammount of scolding and political correctness is gonna do anything for you if youre not prepared. just saying rape is wrong to someone who has a psychopathic urge to do so is not going to stop them im sorry but that is wishful thinking at its worst. personally i think guys would be alot less likely to act on their urges if women in general would start asserting their female dominance over the weaker male sex.

but again.. thats just my opinion.