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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So, I've been pretty bad for a while now. I hate that I cant do much with my kids, I cant manage days out etc like I used to. We had booked a little caravan weekend away a while back, my wife has taken them. I'm absolutely devastated that I couldn't go, I feel like such a shitty dad now. I love them so much, they're what keep me going bu struggling to cope on my own now.
 

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So, I've been pretty bad for a while now. I hate that I cant do much with my kids, I cant manage days out etc like I used to. We had booked a little caravan weekend away a while back, my wife has taken them. I'm absolutely devastated that I couldn't go, I feel like such a shitty dad now. I love them so much, they're what keep me going bu struggling to cope on my own now.
Hey
I'm a parent too. I actually force myself to do everything with my kids. They can't even tell something is wrong. I even took them on mini vacation when this hell first hit. It was horrific but they didn't even know I was mentally suffering. You can't let this hell win. You have to keep pushing for them. I been with this hell for 6 months and they are the reason why I'm not in my bed like a vegetable.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Hey
I'm a parent too. I actually force myself to do everything with my kids. They can't even tell something is wrong. I even took them on mini vacation when this hell first hit. It was horrific but they didn't even know I was mentally suffering. You can't let this hell win. You have to keep pushing for them. I been with this hell for 6 months and they are the reason why I'm not in my bed like a vegetable.
Hi,

Thanks, doesn't exactly help with me feeling shit about myself though lol, I know thats not what you intended though

I've had this for around 22 years, its always been there, but come and gone to some extant and the last few years have been pretty good. But I had a very severe relapse in March, Ive never been this bad for this long. I've never stopped it from doing stuff with the kids in the past, but this time round its pretty much incapacitated me.

I know I should be there with them, I wish I had gone now, I feel terrible.
 

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Hi,

Thanks, doesn't exactly help with me feeling shit about myself though lol, I know thats not what you intended though

I've had this for around 22 years, its always been there, but come and gone to some extant and the last few years have been pretty good. But I had a very severe relapse in March, Ive never been this bad for this long. I've never stopped it from doing stuff with the kids in the past, but this time round its pretty much incapacitated me.

I know I should be there with them, I wish I had gone now, I feel terrible.
Sorry yes that's not what I meant to do at all.
What brought it back so horrible? I had this before 16 years ago and now it came back horrific too and I am not sure why.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I know, no problem.

I can't say 100% why. It slowly got worse over a month or so, then one night had an extreme episode and its been really bad since.

I had been run down, getting colds and generally ill, and that always makes things worse, and I had had a lot of stress at work, and getting stuck late, and my dad has Alzheimer's and it had gotten to the point around that time that things with him had got worse ad we needed to move to a home. None of these things made me feel super anxious at the time, as I had learned to sort of push stuff aside and not feel it so much, or so I thought, but I think it all must have been eating away somewhere.

I also found out I have vitamin D and B12 deficiencies which I think have been part of it too, difficult to say how much. B12 injections have helped ease the constant extreme anxiety and panic attacks I had, but its still there, especially when leaving home.
 

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I know, no problem.

I can't say 100% why. It slowly got worse over a month or so, then one night had an extreme episode and its been really bad since.

I had been run down, getting colds and generally ill, and that always makes things worse, and I had had a lot of stress at work, and getting stuck late, and my dad has Alzheimer's and it had gotten to the point around that time that things with him had got worse ad we needed to move to a home. None of these things made me feel super anxious at the time, as I had learned to sort of push stuff aside and not feel it so much, or so I thought, but I think it all must have been eating away somewhere.

I also found out I have vitamin D and B12 deficiencies which I think have been part of it too, difficult to say how much. B12 injections have helped ease the constant extreme anxiety and panic attacks I had, but its still there, especially when leaving home.
Maybe all that bottled up and exploded for sure. That's a lot to take in. Have you taken any medication that helps you? I'm so scared to get stuck like this. This is a horrible thing to have. Sometimes I can't take it anymore and take half of Xanax and it works a bit but not enough. I started some medication 8 days ago and I'm praying it helps me but I don't have high hopes.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
No meds yet, I'm like you and have more or less managed to get myself out of this in the past without using any. I've made some progress, but its very slow.

Not that I think there's anything wrong with taking meds, I'm scared of taking anything, just in case it makes things worse. I think I'm at the point where I have to try now though.
 
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