[lemontea]

Today's just another bad day...

I feel completely detached. I'm sitting here, browsing the internet, staring at the monitor, and I fear doing anything else. I fear that standing up will make me mad. I stand up, go to another room, and fear coming back and sitting down. I sit down and feel like if I'm different person than the one who stood up. I just want to go to bed, but at the same time I fear that if i do that in this state of mind, I will wake up feeling totally depersonalized again. I feel tired, but I don't think I am, actually.I'm here behind my fog, don't care about anything but that fog. I'm writing this and don't care about what I am writing. I don't care about what will happen tomorrow - becuse something in my brain doesn't believe it really will hapen.

In two weeks I'm starting a psychotherapy but I no longer believe it will help me. How can this NOT be caused by some brain malfunction, or damage? I think I need psychiatrist. (Anybody going to psychiatrist and doing a psychotherapy at the same time?).

How can this ever get better? I know I feel better than this usually - why don't I appreciate it? Because I fear every stupid thing that come to my mind, but what I should fear is what happens to me right now...

I don't know what to do Doing something doesn't help - damn, I'm always doing something, it's impossible NOT to do it.

 

[boohoo]

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling like that. I hate that feeling you describe of not wanting to move around. Although I haven't had that for months - so it shows that you can come through it, even if it does take time. I remember when I would sit for hours in the same place too scared to get up and close my curtains or whatever, incase my head mashed up. I know it seems like there'll never be any relief, but there is. Really. I think it's a good idea that you're seeing someone, although I know what you mean about the psychiatrist thing. I was seeing a psychiatrist and it really helped. I can't go any more because I'm housebound now, but I could have a psychiatric nurse round the house, but I do feel like I need a psychiatrist. I'd say try the psychotherapy first, you can always switch to someone else. I really do hope things aren't as bad for you today.

 

[orangeaid]

In my worst of times I feel that way and I feel like there are days I dont wanna move from my position becasue I will feel too weird. Or I feel like I cant do certain things like daily activities, I think a lot of it is mental phobias I create.

But I know where your coming from, my heart goes out to you. But look at it this way. I have had this a while I have my bad days and I think I am stuck there, but then I get back to days where I feel better much better and I fell like I can do, and I feel like I am a normal person(more than I usally do that is).

It will pass, this feeling will pass like almost any other feeling in this world.

 

[lemontea]

Thanks everyone for support...

I feel better today...It's so hard for me to convince myself that these bad feelings pass when I have them, though.

Ok, anyway, I guess I'll do that psychotherapy and, well, if that doesn't help, I'll try something else (a psychiatrist, probably). But, you know, somethimes I'm really tired of this and would want an immediate relief. :roll:

 

[orangeaid]

Hey cheer up, you have a LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNGGGGg list of options out infront of you, I am guessing you just started seeing someone for help. thats the first step, and your climbing up a moutain of options. So many different shrinks, so many different methods, so many differnt drugs if your willing.

Try to keep an open mind and be optamistic.