Back into the darkness

I was doing quite well, was rather positive about life and all. Suddenly the past came crushing down and I'm back at square one.

Is it dietary, normal emotional ebb and flow, thoughts I need to deal with, biorhythms or something more obscure.

Weird going from happy go lucky to self nihilistic in a period of hours, hard remembering how it works, controlling thought processes in order to get out of here.

Maybe I just need to accept and expel the vile inside, hatred I feel towards every one who has ignored my symptoms, created this malformed entity when it could have all been cured. I fail to see human kindness as they all seem so oblivious to cause and effect, they lack this insight which has come from decades of isolation and abandonment.

Give it a few days and all will be well, a week after I will return to my delicious corner of purgatory.

Life is a crazy roller coaster, I want a go on the easy rides please.