Back after a long hiatus.

My counselor prefers me to stay off the forums so I did as he asked for quite a while. And then I couldn't seem to regain control of my account, which explains my absence.

Since I last logged in, I have tried:
Zoloft- no effects, positive or negative, that I've noticed
Effexor- no effects, positive or negative, that I've noticed
Lamotrigine- had the reaction, had to quit
Abilify- makes me sleepy and fat, and other than that, no noticeable effects
Cymbalta- no effects, positive or negative, that I've noticed
Trazodone- makes me feel like I'm stoned out of my mind until I finally fall asleep. The stoned-feeling side effects were too much and I begged to be taken off of it
EMDR, TIR, and neuro feedback brain mapping

My symptoms remain the same- The ones that are the most crippling, are existential questions/terror, thoughts/feelings of solipsism, not being able to remember the majority of my life, and the memories that I do have, they do not feel like they are my own and I do not feel like I experienced them. Unfamiliarity of people/places/things.

Now that I have fulfilled all the requirements to try TMS, I should be starting out within a couple months. Anyone who has tried that, I would love your feedback. Anyone that has questions, I welcome your messages.