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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hey... I'm finding I'm less depressed now because I have stayed away from things that make my DP/DR worse. Those things would be work, school, grocery stores, malls, the gym, and others. I realize I get depressed and suicidal when my DP/DR is bad. Guess I'm practicing avoidance behaviour. But... I do feel happier. Is this bad?!
 

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Uni, dearest...

I only think avoidant behavior is bad if it affects you... I.E., a part of you really doesn't want to avoid. Or, perhaps, you are ashamed of the fact that your behavior is so "avoidant", so "out of line", "unnormal", whatever. But those are all just labels. I personally, for a long while, was ashamed of my avoidant behavior. Still am, to an extent. But, in my heart, I know I'll never yearn for the deeply invigorating events in Life, or at least not at a rapid pace...

I think a lot of us here are avoidants, or at least we simply have different preferences than most... Maybe not. This isn't of course to be confused with a neurosis in which most of us probably also have, keeping us indoors far more than we want or need to be (keeping us from any social interactions; i.e. grocery store)...

But, ideally, I see my Life as always being slow, and with that means semi-avoidant. I will always want a few friends to hang out with, at minimum, but I like you will be happy avoiding things by and large.

So if you don't feel bad, I'd say it's oooootay. If, the next time you run to the market, you have a panic attack... Maybe it's not so ooootay. :D
 

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Errr, somehow I didn't really get the jist of your post...

You seem to be avoiding things because of fear... I know that all too well.

It's a terrible beast, and cycle. You're eventually going to have to confront it, so it's difficult.

We become accustomed to avoiding the pain and suffering of the experiences that cause us such discomfort, but they are inevitable in leaving a Life on ones own... So you might be happier temporarily, but ultimately you're going to have to do something about the DP/DR/Anxiety that these experiences bring out...

It's tough, I know.

Sorry that probably wasn't as positive.
 

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hmm, hey Uni.

I think what you are saying makes sense, but I think facing the very things that frighten you will help you in the long run, but it is ultimately the fear of these things that causes teh DPDR to begin with.

I know what you are saying though. There have been times where I haven't moved my ass out of the house because of my DP. Once I got out more, the fear/anxiety seemed to subside, but initially I was a NERVOUS WRECK.

Don't let yourself be paralyzed, you only have one life to live. You can do this.

Ken
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
kenc127 said:
I think what you are saying makes sense, but I think facing the very things that frighten you will help you in the long run, but it is ultimately the fear of these things that causes teh DPDR to begin with.

I know what you are saying though. There have been times where I haven't moved my ass out of the house because of my DP. Once I got out more, the fear/anxiety seemed to subside, but initially I was a NERVOUS WRECK.

Don't let yourself be paralyzed, you only have one life to live. You can do this.
Hey Ken,

Unfortunately, I have forced myself to face my DP/DR triggers for the last 10 years and was terribly depressed because of it. The "fear/anxiety" never subsided. I'm a hopeless case :D What do you think about me modifying my life further so that I lessen my interactions with my DP triggers? Is this wrong/bad of me? This is a question I have had for some time now. It's in my signature below.
 

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Hey uni

I don't think it's 'wrong' or 'bad' of you lol. Believe me, my life is no picnic so I have no room to criticize. What I'm saying though is that the fear means something. It means that something is trying to get through, but hasn't yet and that's why it still bothers you. By continuing to face the fears and then asking yourself WHAT is making me feel this way and WHY, you might be able to defuse some of these fears by helping your mind to perceive it differently.

A mall used to be a scary place for me for a while. The place looked like a damn movie and people were strange looking. I could never figure out why, but it just bothered me. Then one day I realized that hey, I'm freaked out of losing my mind in front of all these strangers; of losing my control. That's why I am so damn scared. I haven't been freaked of the mall since. I didn't want to lose control of myself, and that fear kept me away from malls. i think much of DPDR is about the fear of losing control.

You're a smart girl, what do you think?

Ken
 

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I know in my case that avoidant behavior (aka distraction) pulls me through the worst of time. The gym -- certainly. And so do friends, the bar, my nieces, my family (not necessarily in that order) give me something to look forward to. The problem is that one always has to come back to oneself, and that is where the grief begins. I'm not sure whether I have to keep myself distracted 24/7 or face the daemons within.

Any takers?

Paolo
 

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I think it's a combination of both.
 
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