[flowingly]

I'm sitting here, with a pile of ads I have yet to create.

I feel everything and nothing.
I want to cry.
I've been told by someone close to me I've been talking about DP too much lately.
I don't do it for attention, or pity.
He seems to think I'm just reading too much about DP and being in the forums, and have turned into a hypocondriac (sp?)

I don't know anything anymore.
Smile, Irina, smile, don't let them see you fall apart.

 

[Guest]

hes probably right you know.... You probably just want to express your emotions, but you could just be obsessing about DP. Its tough on everyone, your not alone.

It feels good to let people know whats up, but if they dont really know the experience, and how it feels to have DP, they can only care so much before they get annoyed.

 

[flowingly]

hes probably right you know.... You probably just want to express your emotions, but you could just be obsessing about DP. Its tough on everyone, your not alone.

It feels good to let people know whats up, but if they dont really know the experience, and how it feels to have DP, they can only care so much before they get annoyed.

I don't know what to say, not say, do, not do, think, feel...anything. I keep reaching out, and my hand always slips. I don't like how i's affecting people in my life. I'll go back to suffering alone, everyone was happy then. Now I just anger, confuse, and mess things up.

 

[Guest]

you sound angry that your relationships are slipping. Try to focus more on your friendships, and less on the actuall DP. ALWAYS try to ignore the DP, its the only way

Its the same with me, i can tell people dont really like me because they see me as wierd and cant 'read' me while im in a dp state.

Today in my math class the teacher kept looking at me as i tried to follow along. This is the first week of classes at college, and it sucks having started off with my teachers on the wrong foot. I didnt get time to tell him whats going on, as i had another class right after halfway accross campus and i think he thinks i simply dont like him and dont respect him.

I feel shame for a little while after telling people about my disorder, but at the same time it makes life easier, and is probably better in the long run.

We still know whats going on around us, we have to consciously take the innitiative to make things better.

Even when i got myself out of the DP state during class, he still kept looking at me because i suddenly started acting differently.... which isnt good....

 

[flowingly]

You're right

What are you studying? Your major in college, I mean.

 

[Guest]

Mechanical engineering

Im seriously thinking of changing my major to psychology.... i really love helping people out, makes me feel good inside. Especially cause i have such a dabilitating disorder, makes me feel the need to help the world because i need help myself :roll:

If i could beat this thing to perform socially at a spurr of the moment (I sort of have to pump myself up to be social and when i get startled or see somebody i know and end up talking to them, its sort of like a suprise and puts me into lala land) Id love to be a psychologist/psychiatrist

Seems hypocritical to me tho, but i guess thats ok