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I've had derealization for 1 year and 3 month now, got it last year september, at the moment, i am at this point where i am extremely comfortable with derealization, it's uncomfortably comfortable, the visual symptoms are gone, but they're still here if that makes sense, things don't look weird to me, i can put up with it, however i still can sense derealization, i have not broken free from it, i still sense it's there. I do not obsess about derealization, i've just learnt to cope with it, however, i still can not get it out of my head, i have at least mini thoughts about it during the day, not conciously like i used to, and not as intense, but the little thoughts are.
My memory is so cloudy, i forgot most of my childhood, but i have not lost total memory, my brain is foggy, and clouded up with nonsense at times. My perception of time is also weak, i forget what i did like two days ago, before it use to stress me so much, but i've learnt to be comfortanle with it even though i wish to have that clarity and sense of memory i use to have.
My motivation to recover is so low, even though i want to recover in the back of my mind, buy because i've gotten so used to derealization, that fact doesn't give me enough motivation to recover. It feels like i don't need to recover, i'm just extremrely comfortable with this condition, but i still have it, and that is a fact i want to get rid of. I want to start moving forward to the point where i start to feel emotion again, to start remembering memory better, to have a clear mind, to actually realize "repersonalization", to actually 100% understand i do not suffer the visual symptoms again.
I want to know at what point am i in the recovery process?
Is this stage im at right now close to recovery?
What do i need to do in order to move forward?
My memory is so cloudy, i forgot most of my childhood, but i have not lost total memory, my brain is foggy, and clouded up with nonsense at times. My perception of time is also weak, i forget what i did like two days ago, before it use to stress me so much, but i've learnt to be comfortanle with it even though i wish to have that clarity and sense of memory i use to have.
My motivation to recover is so low, even though i want to recover in the back of my mind, buy because i've gotten so used to derealization, that fact doesn't give me enough motivation to recover. It feels like i don't need to recover, i'm just extremrely comfortable with this condition, but i still have it, and that is a fact i want to get rid of. I want to start moving forward to the point where i start to feel emotion again, to start remembering memory better, to have a clear mind, to actually realize "repersonalization", to actually 100% understand i do not suffer the visual symptoms again.
I want to know at what point am i in the recovery process?
Is this stage im at right now close to recovery?
What do i need to do in order to move forward?
