I've been suffering with DPDR for, too long, now. I've suffered before it with panic attacks, crippling depression and anxiety throughout my early teenage years to my adult life, which is now. I never, not once, opened up about it to any soul, except my mother who had witnessed some of it, but she could never really see it as anything but an obstacle I should get over with meds and then try hard to be this normal child of hers that could satisfy the society's norms and blend in with everyone else. Anyway, I never, once in my life thought I'd reach a point where I even consider telling someone about what i've been through, i'm a huge introvert that keeping things to myself has been a part of my identity and how I perceive myself. But I need it more than ever, however i'm terrified of how it'd affect me. It's too much for me to open up and be vulnerable to anyone. It sounds dramatic, but, going 21 years without talking about my life to anyone, then do, and it doesn't go as I expected, it'd make me, lose, something I cannot afford losing. Also, it might feel like I own them something at some point.
Has anyone been in a similar situation, took a step and asked for help, and they don't regret it?
I don't have anyone that I feel deeply close to, but I have someone close to that that I've been thinking a lot about telling them. I don't want the way they are with me change though, I don't want them to think of me as distant and not there when I'm with them. If sometimes I feel like I'd lost myself, I don't want to lose myself that still exists in others, you know..
It's that it's been too long I'm silent, I'm and have been trying within myself every single day to improve my mental state,
but something bigger has to emerge.
Any experiences and thoughts on this would be deeply appreciated!