[donkeybrains]

I've posted this in the discussion forum but got no replies, so I'm trying here. To start this topic off I want to say my vision isn't the best in the world, I wear glasses for nearsightedness, I have unequal and not completely centered pupils (it first showed up after intranasal drug use) and have had HPPD related vision problems in the past. I have seen 2 eye doctors and they say there's nothing really wrong besides astigmatism in one eye.

Now I want to say that aside from the anxiety and panic that my vision is probably the most disturbing thing about my DP/DR experience. I just want to see if anyone can relate and if anyone else has some bothersome vision. My symptoms seem to have a wide range and some only show up when I'm particularly stressed or overstimulated.

Basically 24/7 I'll feel:

2d things, like a video or text, will have 3d depth to it

3d things will often look flat to me or have a weird perspective
Hypersensitivity
Afterimages if I look at some kind of light source
Floaters
Text appears to have a weird quality to it, like it'll just look surreal, sometimes 3d, sometimes it'll have tiny fluctuations in its edges, sometimes it'll almost look like it's moving, this is the symptom that's almost constant, but it doesn't give me trouble reading, just spooks me out.
Dark/bright tiny spots will appear in my vision for split seconds
I'll see tiny movements in my peripheral vision, sometimes it'll be like a twitch or a quick flash
Not sure if this is just hypersensitivity but I'm very mindful of what's happening around me, like I'll spot a bug crawling around at the park just from my peripheral vision. Also every time I'm in public I seem to be constantly taking in visual information, like what strangers look like and what they're wearing and what kind of graffiti or ads are on the walls.

Occasionally I'll experience some of these symptoms:
My vision or the light around me appears to flash for split seconds
Light will sometimes change in intensity, like it'll fluctuate between being bright and dark
My vision will appear to become a slideshow
And the thing that's so far seemed the most strange and scary is that on 2 or 3 occasions I believe I've seen a wall "breathe" (I've had this and slightly moving patterns when I had HPPD so I don't know if it's related)

 

[106473]

confused at why you say you had HPPD, i hate to sound like an expert, but all that you just explained... that is HPPD. Good news is first step is knowing what you are battling with. I have researched it at some length, i had very mild symptoms, nothing really anymore. Oh and I really get into topics, so I wrote a 70 page report.

Anyway there is not many options, i've read a couple of SSRI recovery stories, extremely rare. Other than that you have 4 options.

1. Keppra (Best option)

2. Lamotrgine (worked for some)

3. Clonazepam (takes a high dose, we are talking 4mg and is addictive)

4. Ride it out (yours seem to be fading? Odds are 50/50 according to the leading specialist)

Sorry this is a rather shocking reply, better to face the situation than mess around. Bad thing is option 1 and 3 will be hard to get. I dunno where you live mind you. I'd advice going on HPPD online and getting the Lamotrigine trial.. google ' Lamotrigine trial HPPDonline' you should find it, if not, i've got it.

http://www.dpselfhelp.com/forum/index.php?/topic/64290-keppra-findings-has-cured-hppd-and-dp/?hl=%2Bkeppra+%2Bcure

That link is a real really basic version of my report which doesn't go into science, more evidence based for Keppra. Again you can find the Keppra trial I mention in that link by searching 'Keppra Trial HPPDonline' or go into that forum and search for it, it's not hard to find.

So yeah you are going to have to fight with your doctor to prove first HPPD is a thing, print of the official DMV-5 Diagnoses criteria, then show him which report you want to go for and good luck. You can message me if you are having trouble with any of that. As far as advice goes though that's all I have, oh and Brown F41 tinted glasses or just brown tinted glasses in general for your glasses a lot of HPPD suffers find helps.

Ps all your symptoms are happening, when i had it briefly walls breathed. I think meanwhile try your best to just keep a cool head, know that things will get better and don't over think anything, most of that stuff although uncomfortable will become less prominent, for instance the only thing i still get is the black flicker, it doesn't cause anxiety, sometimes for a split second i'll think 'you again' but within 10 seconds i've forgot it even happens, probably happens daily i've stopped keeping track.

Hope this has been useful and I don't sound cold, It really sucks to go through, hope you have support, if you don't get a councillor, even to get out some of what you are experiencing and don't let your doctor fog you off, keep pushing, change doctors, make them send you to a Neurologist, do what you have to do

 

[donkeybrains]

confused at why you say you had HPPD, i hate to sound like an expert, but all that you just explained... that is HPPD. Good news is first step is knowing what you are battling with. I have researched it at some length, i had very mild symptoms, nothing really anymore. Oh and I really get into topics, so I wrote a 70 page report.

Anyway there is not many options, i've read a couple of SSRI recovery stories, extremely rare. Other than that you have 4 options.

1. Keppra (Best option)

2. Lamotrgine (worked for some)

3. Clonazepam (takes a high dose, we are talking 4mg and is addictive)

4. Ride it out (yours seem to be fading? Odds are 50/50 according to the leading specialist)

Sorry this is a rather shocking reply, better to face the situation than mess around. Bad thing is option 1 and 3 will be hard to get. I dunno where you live mind you. I'd advice going on HPPD online and getting the Lamotrigine trial.. google ' Lamotrigine trial HPPDonline' you should find it, if not, i've got it.

http://www.dpselfhelp.com/forum/index.php?/topic/64290-keppra-findings-has-cured-hppd-and-dp/?hl=%2Bkeppra+%2Bcure

That link is a real really basic version of my report which doesn't go into science, more evidence based for Keppra. Again you can find the Keppra trial I mention in that link by searching 'Keppra Trial HPPDonline' or go into that forum and search for it, it's not hard to find.

So yeah you are going to have to fight with your doctor to prove first HPPD is a thing, print of the official DMV-5 Diagnoses criteria, then show him which report you want to go for and good luck. You can message me if you are having trouble with any of that. As far as advice goes though that's all I have, oh and Brown F41 tinted glasses or just brown tinted glasses in general for your glasses a lot of HPPD suffers find helps.

Ps all your symptoms are happening, when i had it briefly walls breathed. I think meanwhile try your best to just keep a cool head, know that things will get better and don't over think anything, most of that stuff although uncomfortable will become less prominent, for instance the only thing i still get is the black flicker, it doesn't cause anxiety, sometimes for a split second i'll think 'you again' but within 10 seconds i've forgot it even happens, probably happens daily i've stopped keeping track.

Hope this has been useful and I don't sound cold, It really sucks to go through, hope you have support, if you don't get a councillor, even to get out some of what you are experiencing and don't let your doctor fog you off, keep pushing, change doctors, make them send you to a Neurologist, do what you have to do

My DP/DR wasn't triggered by drug use, at least not instantly like some people have written where they go to bed high and wake up with DP/DR. I had instances of DP/DR for a few months and then following a period of high stress I got sick with the flu and it basically came on the day I got better and went out and had a busy day. I will say that before that happening I did take a high dose of DXM and weed for 2 days and had a lot of anxiety and panic during the end of the experience after not sleeping much. Do you think it could have been a delayed HPPD or DP/DR or something like that? The reason I'm not sure if it's HPPD is because about 2 years before this after abusing stimulants and psychedelics heavily I had light but noticeable HPPD for a bit where I remember seeing the edges of things move or get wavy, walls breathe, and patterns move slightly, and if I really focused my vision on something it would move.

Thanks a lot for the information though, I have noticed benzos relieve my DP/DR and all that but I try not to take them.

 

[donkeybrains]

confused at why you say you had HPPD, i hate to sound like an expert, but all that you just explained... that is HPPD. Good news is first step is knowing what you are battling with. I have researched it at some length, i had very mild symptoms, nothing really anymore. Oh and I really get into topics, so I wrote a 70 page report.

Anyway there is not many options, i've read a couple of SSRI recovery stories, extremely rare. Other than that you have 4 options.

1. Keppra (Best option)

2. Lamotrgine (worked for some)

3. Clonazepam (takes a high dose, we are talking 4mg and is addictive)

4. Ride it out (yours seem to be fading? Odds are 50/50 according to the leading specialist)

Sorry this is a rather shocking reply, better to face the situation than mess around. Bad thing is option 1 and 3 will be hard to get. I dunno where you live mind you. I'd advice going on HPPD online and getting the Lamotrigine trial.. google ' Lamotrigine trial HPPDonline' you should find it, if not, i've got it.

http://www.dpselfhelp.com/forum/index.php?/topic/64290-keppra-findings-has-cured-hppd-and-dp/?hl=%2Bkeppra+%2Bcure

That link is a real really basic version of my report which doesn't go into science, more evidence based for Keppra. Again you can find the Keppra trial I mention in that link by searching 'Keppra Trial HPPDonline' or go into that forum and search for it, it's not hard to find.

So yeah you are going to have to fight with your doctor to prove first HPPD is a thing, print of the official DMV-5 Diagnoses criteria, then show him which report you want to go for and good luck. You can message me if you are having trouble with any of that. As far as advice goes though that's all I have, oh and Brown F41 tinted glasses or just brown tinted glasses in general for your glasses a lot of HPPD suffers find helps.

Ps all your symptoms are happening, when i had it briefly walls breathed. I think meanwhile try your best to just keep a cool head, know that things will get better and don't over think anything, most of that stuff although uncomfortable will become less prominent, for instance the only thing i still get is the black flicker, it doesn't cause anxiety, sometimes for a split second i'll think 'you again' but within 10 seconds i've forgot it even happens, probably happens daily i've stopped keeping track.

Hope this has been useful and I don't sound cold, It really sucks to go through, hope you have support, if you don't get a councillor, even to get out some of what you are experiencing and don't let your doctor fog you off, keep pushing, change doctors, make them send you to a Neurologist, do what you have to do

Also do you think that HPPD could come back when you're under stress or experiencing DP/DR?

 

[106473]

Yes delayed HPPD is as common (i'd say more common). Also never take DXM in your life again, seriously, easiest drug to get HPPD from, also any of that stuff has a serious chance of making it stick.

If you mean go away from having it years ago and come back.... well i think you figured that one out, you did DXM and weed, both HPPD causing drugs, known to bring it back anyway. Naturally I'd like to think that if you beat HPPD and stay away from drugs it won't come back, it has little reason to. I'd bet a lot of money DXM caused it. Also the panic attack... even more reason for DP. DXM is a dissociative and powerful.

Won't help your DP but supplement called Alpha GPC is what you should invest in. Helps with memory etc. DXM is a powerful Cholinergic. Alpha GPC is a ANTI cholinergic

 

[donkeybrains]

Yes delayed HPPD is as common (i'd say more common). Also never take DXM in your life again, seriously, easiest drug to get HPPD from, also any of that stuff has a serious chance of making it stick.

If you mean go away from having it years ago and come back.... well i think you figured that one out, you did DXM and weed, both HPPD causing drugs, known to bring it back anyway. Naturally I'd like to think that if you beat HPPD and stay away from drugs it won't come back, it has little reason to. I'd bet a lot of money DXM caused it. Also the panic attack... even more reason for DP. DXM is a dissociative and powerful.

Won't help your DP but supplement called Alpha GPC is what you should invest in. Helps with memory etc. DXM is a powerful Cholinergic. Alpha GPC is a ANTI cholinergic

Thanks for getting back to me. I definitely won't take DXM anymore and am staying away from drug abuse. The most I'll do is take prescribed benzos or barbituates at a very low dose to calm me down if I'm quite panicked. But I'm even thinking of quitting those with time because I've noticed coming off of them makes me return to a pretty high anxiety state.

I just read about Alpha GPC and it doesn't seem bad but I don't really have any bad social phobias or some inability to perform or function in whatever I need to do even if it creates stress. I really just have a problem with obsessing over my mental state and pretty high anxiety/panic.

Aside from trying to life a positive lifestyle I'm taking calcium, magnesium, vitamin d, b complex, c, fish oil, and for a week now i've been taking l5htp (amino acid that increases your serotonin), it seems to be helping and i like it as an alternative to ssris.